soak it up.

i don't like change.  big or small, i just don't like it.
and with the end of summer near, i'm starting to get all weird and emotional.

next summer will surely be much different.  C will be almost 3 1/2, about to head off to preschool {excuse while i vom}.

maybe this was our last summer as a family of 3?  BUT MAYBE NOT.
did we do everything we wanted to do?
i'll miss watching C haul his wagon down the sidewalk.
i'll miss him pointing out the ants and roly-poly bugs.
swimming in his pool all morning and afternoon.

i'm not kidding you, i'm getting emotional about it right now.
and yes, fall is fun with the pumpkins and whatever.  and winter is fun with the snow and christmas, etc.
but summer.  summer with a toddler is truly the best.

we're entering into the last fall+winter+spring+summer before C officially starts "school."
this is our last year home together every day.  oh how i'll miss my mornings with that guy.  his bed head, his ability to wake up ready to play while mommy needs to drink at least one cup of coffee.

change makes me cray cray.  i don't like it.
i want C to stay young, innocent and so full of joy i can't even understand what he's saying because he's so excited forever.
i feel a lot of pressure heading into this next year.  i want to be so sure i'm present in everything.
i want to put my phone down and respond to texts+emails later.

i want to really TALK to C while we're playing, instead of just sitting there.
i want to soak up every squinty-eyed smile, every belly laugh, every tantrum (yes, even these.  because they won't last forever thank goodness), every hug around my neck and every time he willingly puts his little hand in mine.

mamas in the same boat--this is it.
the final year before we entrust our babes to another teacher, before life gets a whole lot busier and faster.
let's soak it up.  as surely as i hate change, Lord knows it's inevitable.

so with God's daily hourly grace, i'm committing to:
carving too many pumpkins this fall and jumping in too many piles of leaves.

building too many snowmen and drinking too many cups of hot chocolate this winter.
taking too many adventures and spending too much time outside next spring+summer.

i'm going to get as many kisses, hugs and snuggles while i can.
i know he's only this small for much too short a season.
pray for me.  none of this comes easy for me.  i want to stop time and deny that this change is coming.