halloween

 in 2011, he was a cute little tiger cub.

in 2012 he was a funny little monkey.  which couldn't have been more appropriate for our little monkey.

this year, my buddy is woody.  not a cute, furry animal.  a real character.  

but he sure is a cute sheriff. 

his first pick was jessie, the cowgirl in toy story.  i told him no, he couldn't be a girl {don't you liberals tell me that's bad parenting}.  his second pick was buzz.  and i would've been down with buzz, but could never find his size {confession:  i didn't look very hard. i'm sorry i just don't get into halloween.  and i certainly don't hand make costumes.  #aintnobodygottimeforthat}

they DID have his size in woody so that's what we landed on.  after a failed first attempt at cookie monster which was absurdly too small.  

he carries jessie around instead of woody.  i think jessie is our first "crush"

when we were in the store this morning, the first person we saw in a cart was a little girl dressed as jessie.  his response: "i want to wear it"

happy halloween! 

the day to day.

"isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes,

but when you look back everything is different?"

C.S. Lewis

 

whew.  that quote could not be more true for me right now.  as a SAHM with a toddler, our day-to-day gets pretty mundane and ordinary.  we have breakfast, watch a little {or a lot, depending on the day} PBS, head out to run some errands, get home for lunch, nap time, play time, daddy gets home {hallelujah time}, dinner, bath, bed, repeat.

from yesterday to today to tomorrow, caden won't seem very different.  i may notice a new word or two.  maybe he repeats something he didn't repeat yesterday.  the weather certainly changes every day around here.

i may even try a new recipe one day!  but probably not.  i stick to the rotation.

but it stings my heart and almost brings me to tears to look back over the past 2 1/2 years at my boy. 

who IS that little burrito?  it's hard to even remember a time when he couldn't run through the house or dance like a maniac to praise music. 

this little nugget, who used to bring me to tears out of sheer exhaustion because he would.not.nap AGAIN.  we didn't quite understand each other yet.  i didn't understand what his cries meant.  i definitely did not understand the fullness of my love for him. 

he seemingly turned into a real human being over night.  finally walking and communicating better.  around the time he turned one, i think we really started to "get" each other.  he belly laughed at me and started hamming it up to make me laugh. 

and how did that hair happen?!  i'll never regret my decision to postpone the first haircut as long as i did.  those curls were to die for.  and fit his spunky personality to a tee.

this picture.  this one really did it for me.  he wasn't quite two yet but on our way to church this morning, i realized he wasn't a baby anymore.  all his baby rolls were gone and he stood there so tall looking like a little man.  i mourned the loss of my baby for a brief moment.

my sweet and goofy boy.  day to day, not much changes.  he doesn't seem any taller or smarter.  but i know God is growing him daily.  stronger, healthier and wiser.  my prayer today, as it seems to be most days, is that i slow down every.day.  i want to remember THIS day.  though there is nothing significant about this thursday, i know october 24, 2014 will look completely different.  there's a good chance he'll be in preschool that day.  i see it as a blessing i can't remember those first 6 months very well.  if i remembered them well i'd probably never want another baby.  but these days of exploration and innocence i want to store in my mind forever.  i NEVER want to forget the time he patted my back and said "you my buddy."   oh please let me always be your buddy. 

 

"isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes,

but when you look back everything is different?"

C.S. Lewis

cash money.

without going into detail about our finances, i'm going to tell you a little about our finances.
B has a regular paycheck that gets automatically deposited into our checking twice a month.
i do not.
as a photographer, i get paid when i go on shoots or when someone books a session.
this is irregular income and something we can never really count on as part of a budget.
we did a dave ramsey financial peace course with our old small group a couple years ago and we've been a little slow on the "putting what we learned into practice."
but we're getting there.
B is an accounting major and has an MBA.  math is like, his passion or something.  i think that's just gross.
i majored in one of the only things i could find that had little-to-no math involved.
so for the duration of our marriage he has, by default, been in charge of our finances.  he paid the bills, he told me to stop shopping at target, etc.
this stressed him out.  he didn't like seeing where we were at each month and often, before we went to bed at night, he would lay 2-3 bills on my desk and ask me to pay them the next day.
about a month ago i decided to take over the finances.  also because i like to referred to as the CFO.
i started paying the bills because i had more time in the day to do it.
i reconciled the checkbook (yes, we're grandparents and still write checks for bills and keep a register in our checkbook.  i'm a paper and pen kind of CFO.  don't try to tell me different)
B's paycheck is primarily used for the bills+mortgage.  leaving my photographing income as kind of our "extra."
so everytime i get a check, i cash it.
then i distribute the cash money into our envelopes (enter: dave ramsey)
you guys, i LOVE paying with cash.  it's so freeing and i just love when the cashier at target asks if i would be interested in signing up for a red card and i can say "no thanks!  we use cash."
i don't spend as much and i love seeing how much we're saving.
i know, i know.  this is no revolutionary idea.  dave has been preaching about cash envelopes for years.  but like i said, we slow.

i LOVE that i can take cash out and go christmas shopping this year.  no stress when the credit card bill comes!

we're going out for B's birthday next week so i decided that was envelope worthy.  if we can pay cash for it, it gets an envelope.
some of those are empty right now, like home improvements and savings because we're focusing on immediate needs, such as christmas and new tires.  those are things we HAVE to pay for in the next couple months.  i also pay cash for groceries but tend to keep that money in my wallet.
sorry this is not an earth-shattering revolutionary post.  i just wanted to encourage any of you that, like us, know about the idea of cash envelopes but haven't started yet.
it really is so much better than swiping.  AND i don't waste as much time entering my receipts into the checkbook.
this is the system that works for US.  it may not work for you and like i said in my post yesterday, that's ok!

Truths.

while doing my morning Bible study today, i felt the Holy Spirit nudge me to post what i was taking notes about.
{i was reading in 1 Peter}
i think too often we get confused about who we are trying to become more like.  "i want to cook like the pioneer woman" "i want my body to look like that mom at church who has 45 kids but still has her college body" "i want to be as spiritual as ____" {pinterest has been a huge component of this for me and i'm seriously considering getting rid of it}
but the first chapter in 1 Peter reminds me that there is only 1 person we should be striving to become:
"Be holy, because I am holy."
what a freeing sentence!  my one and only focus ought to be becoming more Christ-like.
does idolizing ree drummond's cooking make me more Christ-like?  H no!  i just mentioned "idolizing" so it's doing the opposite.
does stressing daily about how lumpy by body is getting help achieve my goal of being more Christ-like and holy?  no way, man.
TRUTH:  i am beautiful to God, lumpy and all
TRUTH:  there is an overflow of grace in parenting
TRUTH:  this world isn't my home
i need to stand on truths like these throughout the day instead of lies satan tells me. 
LIE: i'm not good enough if i didn't spend at least an hour preparing dinner
LIE:  i should love to run.  i hate running!  and that's ok!  God didn't give me that passion and desire, just like He didn't give me the passion and desire to cloth diaper or buy organic.  that's ok!
i am to be holy.  not judgmental. holy.  not selfish.  holy.
that's it.  simple.  no more guilt about tv time and fruit snacks and chicken in the crockpot AGAIN.
this place isn't my home.  does it matter what i do with my time here?  absolutely.  while i'm temporarily here i am still called to be a disciple.
but should i get hung up on earthy lies?  heck to the no, you guys.
go be holy today.  that's all we need to strive for.  remember God's truths, not satan's lies.

 "since you call on a Father who judges each man's work impartially, live your lives as strangers here in reverent fear." 1 Peter 1:17 

apple barn tradition

so we have this yearly fall tradition and i really don't even consciously think of it as a tradition.  but every fall, when it's time to load up on pumpkins for the front steps, the easiest and most convenient place to go is down the road to the apple barn.  bonus:  their caramel covered apples.
today i realized this is caden's FOURTH year going.  "but he's only 2 1/2" you say.
Let's take a look:

here we are together in the fall of 2010. 

here's my little 6 month babe in fall of 2011

my sweet blue eyed boy in fall of 2012

and this year.  my handsome little man.  fall of 2013

so i guess it's a thing we do every fall.  i like traditions that begin with no effort.

here are more pictures of our adventure this morning:

"i pull it." of course you do.

oh this look.  the refusal to smile because we're tired and cranky look.  a few short seconds after this photo was taken, that cute little pumpkin he's cuddling was thrown onto the ground and rolled right under our car.  in the center.  where i couldn't reach it from any side.  

#toddlers

some minutes are joy and laughter-filled.

other minutes are tantrum and scream-filled.

also, so many moms have been telling me "oh honey, 3 is so much worse than 2"

stop telling me that!

encourage me for crying out loud.  tell me you got through it alive (maybe barely but you're living to tell me about how awful it was so clearly you survived!) so i will too.

i pray all you mothers of toddlers get through this day with much joy and few tears.

happy october!