adventures of A and B plus C

my child is starting to interact like a real human being.

2012-01-09T08:20:00.000-08:00

I'm starting to feel less like I'm talking to a baby all day and more like I'm talking to a tiny adult. Our conversations go a little something like this:
Me: C, are you pooping?
C: grunt. gruuuunt. grunt. redface.
Me: Yep I thought so.
----------------------------
Me: Where's C??
C: (sneaks behind wall and waits about .5 seconds and pops back out)
Me: THEREHEIS!!!
And repeat 10x
----------------------------
Me: What's a doggie say?
C: ughh ughh
Me: Yeah! Woof Woof!

So you see, things are really progressing around these parts. C still doesn't say much besides "da da" but he understands A LOT more and that makes me feel a little more sane.
In other snot related news, there's a lot of snot in this house. It's gross and it's never ending. C had an ear infection last week and went on antibiotics. In addition to the infection, he had a geyser of snot erupting out his nose every 1 minute. Enter: The Nose Frida. I had been using the nose sucking bulb thing that you insert halfway up to the child's brain while LITERALLY pinning him on the floor as he thrashed about. Well, I still have to pin him down and he thrashes BUT I feel slightly better about not almost touching his brain with a piece of plastic. If you don't know the nose frida, get to know it here and don't be all weird and grossed out. The snot doesn't even come close to you.
I'm ready for the snot to stop, our schedule to get to "normal" and for C to have ALL of his teeth so he'll stop randomly lunging at my leg, arm, hand, fingers, shoulder, feet to try to bite them. Seriously, teething is the WORST. It's almost bad enough for me to never want to go through it again with another child. ALMOST.
I hope your day involves a lot less snot than mine.

Things a 9 month old "needs" a.k.a. things that help you, the mother of a 9 month old, retain SOME sanity.

2011-12-13T09:23:00.000-08:00

Some of C's favorite activities include: crawling, pulling up on anything, eating paper, eating anything, touching everything. He never. stops. moving. Therefore, I never. stop. moving. Anything that makes my day to day life easier is welcomed with open arms plus streamers, balloons, and banners. We have approximately 9-10 hours during the day to occupy. Meaning we need ACTIVITIES. Lights, sounds, anything annoying: he loves. I know virtually nothing about 9 month olds. But we're into week 2 of it so I'm becoming somewhat of a professional. Here are things we love in our house. Some are loved by C, some are more for my well-being, all are hated by Milo.

1. Ministar Shoes. After about the 3rd pair of ordinary baby shoes that I would spend 15 minutes struggling to get on C's little feet into while I'm sweating and cursing I got smart. My sister in law bought C a pair these lovlies at my baby shower which, at the time, I thought "It's going to be like 5 years before he'll need these things" WRONG. 9 months later they are awesomesauce. He also has a pair of brown fuzzy boots that keep his little sausage toes nice and toasty. They actually stay ON his feet which is a marvelous thing. However, HEAR ME AND HEAR ME WELL: C has a pair of Tom's shoes and he WILL wear them. He'll wear them until the toes are worn and the velcro no longer velcros.

2. Balls. General, yes. And get your mind out the gutter during this one. He has a big orange ball he loves, a medium sized Cardinal ball he loves and some smaller ones he also loves. Moral of the story: C loves balls. Ok I'm done.

3. Munchkin Snack Catcher. I know these are like, old news but whatev they rock. It's like a little mission for him to get his snack out. On the down side, about 3/4 of the snack fly out and usually onto the floor. Meh you pick and choose your battles.
4. Stuffed animal. His favorite is a little cow named Bertha that has a bell hanging from her neck. His goal in life is currently to rip the bell from her neck. It takes at least 5 minutes for him to try and fail. Then he swings Bertha around for awhile, climbs on her, pushes her face in the ground. It's like he's a little puppy and Bertha is his puppy friend.

5. SNACKS. Ok, I know some of you are like hyper-anti-snacks until your child is like 10 years old. I'm not. I'm pro anything that makes my child happy and food makes him very VERY happy. Here are some things he currently eats/enjoys: puffs, cheerios, goldfish, graham crackers, any cracker, veggies, bananas, mini weinies (yes you read correct. We had some last night and cut them up and he like FREAKED OUT he was so happy), chicken nuggets, etc. Basically, if we eat it, I cut it up and give him some. Pictured below are some cinnamon maple crack cocaine puffs. C literally craps himself out of sheer bliss when he gets these. We use them sparingly or anytime I'm in a store with him and he's about to LOSE IT (which is more often than not). Moral of this story: don't be scared, feed your child. They won't choke (ok they may, but most things dissolve super fast. Or cut things up super small. NBD. Life goes on.)

6. Anything that moves when pushed. He likes to walk and push things, crawl and push things. He crawls and pushes a ball, then laughs and crawls after it, bumps it again and the cycle continues. This also lasts approximately 5 minutes.

7. Mickey Mouse. Oh sweet goodness. I don't know what it is about this tiny little mouse but C DIES for him. His favorite part of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse is the first 30 seconds when Mickey just walks up a hill and starts talking. C starts smiling and laughing and bouncing up and down. It's pretty much the best thing ever. Anyway, Mickey stands the test of time. There's just something about that horrible, squeaky voice. I don't really get it but there are worse characters on the show he could love. Like that idiot Clarabelle cow I just want to PUNCH HER IN HER STUPID COW FACE. excuse me.

8. Peek-a-boo. This has been a favorite for several months. He loves it when I do it or when I cover his face and do it. We pop out from behind walls. He lurves him some peek-a-boo. So simple, so fun for a 9 month old.

9. Ceiling fans. My parents actually discovered this. Whenever we walk from his room to our room to the living room he just looks straight up and stares at the fan. It's not even moving. So when I'm changing his diaper or getting him dressed and he's arching his back and LITERALLY YELLING at me, I make the fan go and he's all "ooo I'm so happy for the next 5 seconds and then I'm going to yell again".

10. Any Lee Child book featuring Jack Reacher. Ok this is not for C. And I really don't have time to read, but I make time for Reacher. And you will too. If you watched 24 and fell in love with Jack Bauer (how could you not?) you will also fall in love with Reacher. He's like Jack Bauer but in book form. Just read it.

That's it for now. I'll give you an updated list when Christmas is over and he's balls to the wall out of his mind excited with his new lights and annoying sounds. Can't wait for our house to be exploding with new toys. Yaaay.
Hope some of these help to keep your sanity!!

The world needs God.

2011-11-18T10:10:00.001-08:00

I debated for about...5 seconds on whether to write this post or not. Mostly because thinking about it makes me sick to my stomach. Our neighbors have a flag flying just under the American flag that says "the world needs God." I could not agree more.

Especially after hearing of yet ANOTHER "mom" that killed her 13 month old baby. THIRTEEN MONTHS. Are you kidding me?? Sadly, I'm not kidding you.

I hold my baby extra tight when I hear these stories.

I look into his helpless eyes and wonder what sort of monster could ever murder such an innocent.

It brings tears to my eyes and I can't even bare to let my mind go to the place of picturing a tiny child brutally beaten to death by it's own mother. If ever we needed a savior, it's now. They don't know. They're children. They TRUST us. If you're going to have a child, love it. If you have a child and you don't love it, I know plenty of people that would absolutely love that child as their own.

This world NEEDS God. So desperately.

If you care to read about this awful story, here's a link.

P.S. That's a picture of C, not the baby from the story. Just thought I should clarify. Now go love your children.

Thank you internet moms for actually being RIGHT

2011-11-16T10:01:00.000-08:00

If you've been following me for awhile (like the 8 months that we've had our nugget) you know that the first like....6 months were AW.FUL. I don't really like to go back to those days because I start shaking and sweating and crying. That could also be the overabundance of caffiene in my bloodstream but whatev. Anyway, all these moms kept leaving BS comments telling me "it gets better" and every time I heard that I wanted to punch the mom who said it, but I guess that's not really "socially acceptable" or a very productive way to make mom friends. Well lady friends, I'm here to tell you, do NOT punch these women who are telling you this. They know their shiz. It DOES get better. Like, C is actually fun to play with now. He laughs and smiles and bounces and crawls and SLEEPS for long periods of time.
We still have some rough patches. He still STILL hates the car. He'll probs never drive and just take public transit when he gets older since apparently our car is so awful to be in. He's super high-activity so sitting in one place for longer than about 5 seconds is a no-go. Eating at a restaurant is super not fun but that's good because we can't afford it anyway. He loves Target about as much as his mom so that works out well for us.
We just started him on his first round of antiobiotics :( I guess it was bound to happen since he stopped drinking from the tap like years ago. He's teething (the top 2 big boys), has a cold and is MOST LIKELY allergic to Milo (I'm totally just making this up so we can get rid of the cat, but it seems like a very likely scenario). He handles all these obstacles like a champ.

In other non-baby related news, I'm going to start subbing a couple days a week. Do I want to? Actually yes. A little bit. C is going through like super attachment to me and while I love that he's obsessed with me, I think it's probably in both our interests to spend some time apart. You know, let things cool off a bit. Whenever B is home in the evenings and he's playing with C, C is all like "uhh where's my mom WHERE'S MY MOM???" panic mode. And I'm like "C, I'm right here. Making food for your giant gut, settle it down" Also, I just realized this is completely back to the subject of C after I just said it was "other non-baby related news" Isn't everything about the baby though??

Ok that's all. I need to go pinterest the rest of this naptime away.

I need an assistant-slash-someone to do everything for me.

2011-11-14T10:25:00.000-08:00

Who would like to do the following things for me. For free.
-Clean my house on a weeky basis
-Plan C's first birthday party
-Read books for me and give me the summary
-Rake the billions of leaves in our yard that the huge stupid tree pooped out
-Find me a part time job, do said job, and then give me the profits

I know it may seem like a lot, but it's really not. We're called to serve others, so someone come serve me.

I kid, of course....

Ok seriously though, my brain literally HURTS. Like, caffeine doesn't even help. My precious diet coke is just something that tastes good to me now.
When did kid's first birthday parties become like a bigger deal than my wedding? I know he's only going to be ONE and has like no clue what the h is happening but obviously the party is for the adults and to show off how I'm some sort of super mom or whatever. Which I'm totes not. Someone please share some unlame first boy birthday party ideas thank you. I know he loves Mickey Mouse but I don't want a Mickey-themed party. And it's MY PARTY. Ok, that was the venti frap from starbucks I had this morning. I need to go lay down.
GIVE ME IDEAS BEFORE I POKE MY EYES OUT.

Panic-mode

2011-11-06T19:11:00.000-08:00

C is 8 months today. That means several things...

1. My baby is becoming less of a baby and more of a little man

2. Walking is becoming getting freakishly close to happening

3. His first birthday is 4 months away

Let me tell you a little more about number 2. The kid just wants to walk all day. We hold his hands and walk laps around the house while he smiles and giggles at Milo (yes, he's still here if anyway was wanting to take him). He wants to stand up at everything: the ottoman, the couch, his toy bin, chairs, ME whatever. He's still pretty wobbly but I foresee an early walker. Of course when he starts I think there will be minimal walking and more running. He doesn't stop unless he's sleeping (PTL the kids likes his sleep).

I'll tell you one thing: he gets more awesome every day. I love LOVE hanging out with him everyday. He wears me the h out, yes. But oh, that smile. And his laugh. And how he talks about "dada" all gd day. I don't even care (false, I care very much) that he's saying "dada" I just love to hear his voice (again, that's a lie. I'm very bitter that mama has yet to be uttered. But I mean it's understandable. B did carry him for 9 months in his womb while his stomach stretched to ungodly lengths and hit feet swelled to sizes that should be illegal. And then he pushed all 8 pounds 6 ounces out....NO HE DIDN'T. HE DIDN'T DO ANY OF THOSE THINGS. I DID. MAMA DID. And it's like salt in the wounds when I look C in the eyes and say "say, hi mama!" and he looks me back in my eyes and says "hi dada" and then I swear...) Anyway, he really does rock. And he happens to be the cutest boy like, ever. In case you didn't know. Just take a look at these never-before-seen photos:

IKNOW. Are you dying?The tail from his halloween costume. Yeah I don't know...The kid LOVES to swing. Winter will be a sad time for all...This is C's new lady-friend. She doesn't talk much which is what he loves most about her.

The wait is over

2011-11-01T10:13:00.001-07:00

Hello my babies. So the last time I posted was in August. It's now November. You'll be happy to know I haven't just been sitting around eating Halloween candy. Oh no wait, yes I have. I've been starting up a little biz you may have heard of...Amy Joy Photography. And yes, I still have a baby who isn't much of a baby anymore but we'll get to that later. How have you all been? Ok enough about you this is my blog. Want to know what C-nugz has been up to? One word: TEETH. Oh sweet goodness what a horrible, hellish experience.
hepoopedinthebathtub. HE POOPED IN THE BATHTUB. And I. Almost. Died. Grossest thing that has happened thus far. If it happens again I may really add puke to the poop in the tub. Keep it in your butt, C.
Now I'm going to tell you what we've been up to the past 2 months in picture form because I know that's why you all come here, my creepy internet friends.

C got a new hat for winter.
He loves his walker. He hates that I photograph EVERYTHING.
We went and got some pumpkins. Some stupid squirrel stole C's off the front step.
He still has the best smile. EVER. We went to a hoe down at church. C learned some sweet line dances and ate some chili. Those are both lies.We had a little mother/son photoshoot one day after church because he was wearing a sweater vest and I couldn't resist. A SWEATER VEST people. I die.My mom and I put a reindeer hat on him. Just because. B and I had a date day for his golden bday on the 29th. Now you know how old he is. Such an old man. That actually just means I'm getting old too. Ewww.C went trick or treating with his cousins. Yes I used him to get some candy that is now sitting on my hips and muffin top. I do not regret it.
Our little tiger.

And that brings us up to the present. C is almost 8 months. That is not a lie though it feels like it should be. He sits up, crawls, babbles ALL DAY about dada which gets REALLY old. I try to respond with "mama mama mama" but he continues to stare me in the eye and say "dada" I'll ground him for that later. He picks up cheerios with his chubby little fingers and shoves them in his mouth. He also loves graham crackers and several other types of crackers. He begs for food so I have to be super sly about my halloween candy consumption. He sleeps like a champ.
Me? Oh I don't want to talk about me. Ok, photography has been fairly busy. I'm looking forward to a slow winter so I can brainstorm the next photog season and how I'm going to make a million dollars. JK.
B and I are planning a weekend getaway around our anniversary in December courtesy of my parents. I can't wait, but I know I'll puke to leave C for TWO NIGHTS.
Hope you all enjoyed this little update. My plan is to keep this up again but I have to warn you, we really don't have exciting lives.

Peace, Love, and Happiness. xoxo. ttyl. LYLAS.

what uppppppp??

2011-08-24T10:05:00.000-07:00

Hello my phantom internet friends. Apologies on my tardiness of a post. Lately my time is fully consumed by the nugs and my booming photog biz. Ok it's not quite booming, but I've made some monies and isn't that what life is all about? No? Oh ok. Anyway, today I'd like to discuss something that I don't believe I've ever blogged about before: something my son is good at and enjoys. I know this may sound harsh, but at least I don't pour hot sauce down his throat. Psycho. That lady is probably the anonymous that thinks I don't love my son. Sorry, let's move forward. I often blog about things my son hates and rejects. For example: the car, the nap nanny, my boobs, life in general. To the moms that lied and told me it gets easier: you lied. But in your defense, your child probably wasn't in the same category as mine. Lately he fusses from nap time to nap time. I don't know if his teeth are being stupid and making him mad or if his lack of mobility is pissing him off. Or is he's just so bored with me all day. Anyway, while he hates alot of things, he takes after his dad in one area and loves LOVES his naps. I hear alot of moms complain about their poor nappers and while we did go through a phase, I'm happy to report he now gets that sleep is a friend and we need it. He takes two 2 hour naps a day (usually. unless my mom is watching him and he only sleeps 45 mins. because he can't wait to go hang out with grandma again. seriously, i think he wants me to go work full time so he doesn't have to hear my horrible singing AGAIN). So thank you son, for giving me 4 hours a day to wash B's dress clothes (conversation this morning before B left for work: B: do you think you could wash my dress clothes? I'm about out of shirts. A: Oh, do you not know how the washer works? B: looks at me pissy A: (this wasn't spoken, it was thought in my head) now I feel like a d-bag. Of course I'll wash your shirts. It's part of my job as a SAHM. Luh you. But of course I didn't say it out loud. That would be too nice and respectful.), wash bottles, plan our new healthy diet (post on that soon. it'll make you laugh for reals), watch amazing wedding cakes, KUWTK (if you don't know what that is, you need to watch more reality TV), chitter with my new bff Khloe Odom Kardashian (nbd), and maybe MAYBE dust or vacuum, but probably not.
Well, I'm sure you'll all be pissed to know there are no pictures in this post. Sorry I'm not sorry. I have a lot on my plate. And I think Fried Green Tomatoes is on right now...gotta run. And by "run" I mean continue sitting on my butt in front of the TV and complain about why I'm still fat.
<3

PEOPLE. Get ahold of yourselves, PLEASE.

2011-08-10T13:53:00.001-07:00

I know all 5 of my faithful readers have been getting the shakes everyday because they haven't had my hilar blog to read in like a week. I have a family people, you need to calm down. Things have been Krazee around here, with a capitol K. Mostly all photography related, and because I don't want this blog to turn into a photography blog (SARAH), I'll just give you updates on our lives.
Update #1: C still hates being predictable. Typically his night looks a little something like this- bath/eat/bed around 10:00, wake up around 7:00a.m. to eat, back to sleep, wake up around 9:30. This was a schedule I could get on board with. Then Monday he went and did something TOTES crazy. He slept from 10:00 p.m. until 9:15 A.M. Like, without eating until 9:15. What? Awesomesauce is what that is (that was for you, Missy) Then last night happened. Schedule: 9:30 bedtime, up THREE TIMES around 11:30 needing to be bounced, asleep until 3:30 when he got up TWICE. We had to let him cry for awhile because he wanted to be up and chatting and again, this was not going to happen in my house. He finally slept until 7:30. F. The kid keeps things interesting, that's fo sho.
Update #2: STILL NO TEETH.
Update #3: Still not mobile
Update #4: He's carrying on a love affair with his feet. The second I lay him on his back, or when I get him out of his sleep sack, the legs go up and he grabs his feet. He. Loves. His. Feet. I actually do too. They're pretty much the best things ever.
Update #5: He's tried about every fruit under the sun and loves them all. Even prunes. Vom. He's finally graduated to a high chair, such a big boy.
Update #6: I think my heart might burst out of pure love for this kid. Pretty sure he gets cuter after every nap, even if the nap only lasts 30 minutes. Enough serious crap though.
Update #7: B goes to a nascar race for a whole weekend in September and I'm hugely not looking forward to it. Please judge him and throw things at him.
Update #8: The state fair is about to start and I'm probs looking forward to it a little too much. Serious though, you can't beat the fair crowd. Or the food. You know it's true.
Update #9: Our windows are currently open and AC off. B doesn't know this yet. He'll be pissed when he gets home.
Update #10/shameless plug: HIRE ME TO TAKE YOUR PICTURES. I know that sounds pitiful and I apologize, sort of. But for reals, I'm cheap and decent {that's what she said} and love LOVE this new business venture. I get all giddy about my next photoshoot and actually enjoy editing. Go ahead and "like" my facebook page. And then jump over to my photography blog. Go ahead. We're done here. Hope this was enough of a fix for you junkies and creepers out there.

But even if he does not

2011-08-04T05:33:00.000-07:00

During my bible study this morning (at 6:45...A.M. yes it's true) I rediscovered what I think is one of the most challenging verses:

"If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it, and he will rescue us from your hand, O king. But even is he does not, we want you to know, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the imagine of gold you have set up." Daniel 3:17-18

Ok some observations:
1. Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego's confidence and obedience
2. Our God is ABLE, but he doesn't have to
3. Why wouldn't he?

We need to love and trust God even if he doesn't do what we want him to do. Our pastor has posed the question before: "do we love God for what he does for us or for who he is?" I think we have to examine ourselves daily on this topic. It's so easy to get caught up (without even knowing) on what God can do for ME. We probably don't even have bad intentions, but we're human and naturally very egocentric. But what if he doesn't provide? Do you still love him then? Or do you get angry and start questioning his sovereignty? I don't think it's wrong to question or even get upset in situations, but I think it's crucial to look at the verses in Daniel and remember we're called to obey EVEN IF HE DOESN'T.
Meditate on what that means in your life today.

Mornings

2011-08-03T07:37:00.000-07:00

I know, I know I'm slacking on this blog thang. Save the lectures (SARAH). But this photography "business" is eating up all my free time. And C still isn't napping consistently so each day I never know how much time I'm going to get to check things off my ever growing to-do list.

But let's get back to the point of this post: mornings.

I'm not a morning person. Anyone who knows me well knows this. Especially my fam. I need AT LEAST 30 minutes to wake up. This means: don't say more than 3 words to me, give me a diet coke and some food, let me be. In high school my mother was notorious for 20+ questions AS SOON AS I came up from the basement (granted, it was probably like noon but whatever. My room was in the basement and it was a cave down there. One could sleep for days). I would respond in a very non-loving way and so our day would begin on great terms. Now B has had to learn this about me. C hasn't caught on yet. Hoping he gets the memo soon. While I'm not a morning person at 6:00 a.m. or 8:00 a.m. or anytime before noon really, I'm especially not a morning person at 3:00 a.m. which is when C woke up 2 nights ago and was wide awake. I was like, um no. This is not happening son. I tried bouncing him and he wasn't having it. He wanted to chat and I did not. So I laid him in his crib to think about what he was doing and have some quiet time. We must've had a little miscommunication because he thought I meant cry for an hour. Totally not what I meant but that's fine. At 4:00, whilst still crying, B bounced him and he cooperated this time. My days are long enough as it is with this stupid heat and being on lock down in the house. I'm not about to begin at 3:00 a.m. H no.

But, when C has a good night and gets up at a reasonable hour, like say 8:30 a.m. I'm ever the morning person because this is what I get to spend my day with:

I absolutely LOVE when he first wakes up from a nap. One side of his face is usually red with some lines from laying on it. He's very quiet and observant. He usually let's me snuggle him for a minute. Sometimes he talks very quietly, like he's whispering. He's precious and he's getting bigger and while it makes me sad, it makes me excited to be able to watch him grow every day. Oh, and he loves food. So far he's tried (and loved): bananas, peaches, apples, avocado, and last night pears. In between bites he pants like a dog in anticipation of the next bite and then when I put the spoon in his mouth he goes "mmm!" in different octaves every time. I laugh at each one. I'll try to get a video of it.

That's all. Gotta go get something done while he's down for a few minutes.

Some things never change

2011-07-29T14:57:00.000-07:00

Like my son hating HATING the car.
Or his awesomesauce hair that he's had since I birthed him.
Or his smile that is perfection.

But some things do change. Like C trying a mum mum (?) today. It's called a "rice rusk" and it looks and probably tastes as gross as it sounds. It's basically a giant rice kernel that babes can gnaw on and it dissolves. Only my son wanted to eat it and take bites. With his gums.

Another thing changing is C trying a sippy cup. Ok, first he couldn't get any water out so he just chewed on it:

Then I took the stopper thing out from the inside so the water would just flow. And this happened:

He's not such a fan of the h2o. That's alright. There's enough change around here without adding crazy things like water and mum mums. I can't call them that. I sound like a straight up fool. From now on they will be rice logs. That sounds much more sophisticated.

In other completely non-related news, here's something that totes bothered me today but really probably shouldn't:

Now, most normal people are probably looking at this thinking, "ok, I see a cute little girl with a pink dress dancing on the word dress. What's the big deal?" Let's zoom in shall we...(sure, it's not like I've already wasted 5 minutes of you time..)

This is where things get a little dicey. Tell me what you see here. Better yet, I'll tell you. The girl is wearing sandals with socks. With a dress. Now, I realize she's too young to have anything to do with this outfit, so naturally I blame her parents and/or the people who made this book. Come on people, for a book we're paying like $10 for, at least have the children's outfits MATCH. I don't think that's too much to ask for. Of course, this is coming from a lady who rarely changes out of my pajamas all day and typically have spit up all over my shirt and pants. But whatever.

Shambles

2011-07-26T11:43:00.000-07:00

Ok someone just shoot me. It would be way less painful than my life today. We're currently going on 45 minutes of non stop crying in the crib. And no, I'm not the one crying in the crib though I'm on the verge which is why I'm writing this post-to distract myself from the horribleness that is happening. Don't get me wrong, I'm all about crying it out. I WANT to let him cry it out. I think it's time and I'm ready. He is not. He's pissed and he's totally cussing at me in his baby language and it makes me sad. I keep going in every couple minutes to flip him back on his stomach and he just yells at me even louder. He looks like such a pitiful little turtle stranded on his back with arms and legs flailing. I wouldn't be doing this for such a long period of time if I didn't KNOW without a shadow of a doubt he's exhausted. His naps lately have been sucking the big one (I don't know what "the big one" is...but I'm going to assume it's Milo). He definitely inherited my stubbornness. Flip.
Ok time's up, I gotta go get him before I barf from feeling like a total failure and then kill my child because he won't just go to sleep. Go ahead, leave your judgmental comments. As usual I don't really care.
Oh yeah, and if you want to send me money to buy a new laptop, that'd be awesomesauce too. I'm writing this on hubs' laptop because I just had to very incorrectly hold the power button down and shut mine off. Mostly out of utter frustration and piss off-edness (just don't say anything about that made up word thanks). It's about to kick the bucket and it's not necessarily "ideal" when starting up a photog biz.
Ok, I wish you could hear what I'm hearing over here. Not really, but he's so pissed I can hear him kicking his feet on the mattress. And not through the monitor, I hear it live...through the closed door.
Seriously, please someone shoot me.
My life is utter chaos and diarrhea on a stick.

no xoxo's. If you x or o me right now, I'll kick you in the jugular.

Why do I do this to myself?

2011-07-25T12:49:00.001-07:00

I'm probably dumber than my idiotic cat about a lot of things. This being a big one. I want a new house. Now before you get all "I don't even know what to put in these quotes" on me (I'm mostly talking to my mother)...let me explain myself PLEASE (mom).
When we moved in here 2 years ago I adored out little home. We were torn between 2 lovely houses and I'm glad we chose this one. For the most part. No, I really am glad. It's been perfect for us in that it's needed NO major fixes which is awesomesauce because we are NOT in the market to be replacing like AC units or crap like that. But lately, I've felt less and less safe and more and more ready to be in a new place. Where we're at is like RIGHT on the fringe of some shifty areas. We're like 4 blocks east of some creeptastic apartments and in the not so far away distance is the "east side" of Springfield which is where my bro patrols the streets and we all know his beat (yes, I know police lingo) is like gross and scary (I know this because I rode with him one night and it was both terrifying and awesome at the same time. Like I want to do it again tomorrow but I might cry because it's so scary.) It would give me more peace of mind to be like a lot further west/south. Like a couple weeks ago, we had this disoriented/most likely drunk or high/possibly homeless native american with long pigtail braids roaming up and down our street wondering where he was. Umm, I'm not ok with this. PLUS on either side of us we have rental homes and while one is pretty ok and I have minimal fears about it, I try to keep my distance from the other while keeping my eye on it at the same time. Tricky business.
Now, I keep finding myself looking up homes for sale on the stupid internet which is both foolish and moronic because we CAN'T move for another year since we took that dumb first time homebuyers incentive. So I look, and my hearts starts beating fast when I see a cute house in a nice area and then I start crying (not really) when I remember we can't leave. I'm such a baby but whatever.
Well, I have to go look up more homes. I can't explain it but I do it anyway. I guess I'm sort of like a crack addict in that way. Please don't misread that sentence. I am not on crack. I just have an almost 5 month old that sucks at sleeping. (I LOVE MY SON AND I'M SO BLESSED TO HAVE HIM IN MY LIFE. PLEASE DON'T MISTAKE MY SAYING HE SUCKS AT SLEEPING AS SAYING I HATE HIM AND MY LIFE.)

Little monkey

2011-07-23T11:33:00.000-07:00

This kid loves bananas. He loves bananas like his mama loves her reisling in the evening. And if this post starts to make less and less sense as you read, it's because I've already had my glass and things are slightly foggy....I kid...sort of...

Anyway, let me break this whole scenario down for you:

1. At his last appointment his doc gave us the green light on cereal

2. I was determined to wait until at least 5 months to start

3. We tried cereal the next day out of boredom

4. He hated the cereal

5. We tried it every night that week and he continued to hate it

6. Bedtime routine with cereal was no fun for anyone.

I have a smart child. I also wouldn't eat straight up rice powder poop mixed with that stinktastic formula pee. I'd spit that junk right out. And that's what he did. A couple of my mom friends said they started bananas shortly after starting cereal and I thought, meh it's been long enough torturing C with this crap let's try the good stuff. Conveniently, my madre had some ripe naners (which is obviously what we call them in our house because that's way cooler to say than bananas. Coming soon: a post about all the made up words we use around these parts). So I threw those ripe babies in the blender and liquified them. After I poured a little into a bowl for him, I divided the rest into ice cube trays to freeze for later. I mixed some of that nast cereal and a little formula and stuck that spoon in his mouth. I joke you not this kid thought it was straight up crack on a spoon. He smiled after every bite. We did it again during bedtime and this time he was too focused on the task to mess with smiles. When we finished the perfectly portioned ice cube of naners, he fipped his lid like we'd cut off his crack supply. Here's hoping some naners and his bottle hold him over until like 9 a.m. I have high expectations of my child. I'm sure this won't harm scar him at all as he grows up.

He also helped me make some mini cheesecake things today. And by help me, I mean he sat in his bouncy seat and freaked out everytime I used my electric mixer.

To: Anonymous

2011-07-19T13:11:00.001-07:00

I'm no good at biting my tongue. I'm sarcastic and I say what's on my mind. Take it or leave it. Be my friend or don't. I bit my tongue when I received this comment a couple posts ago:

"A friend told me to check out your blog because she said you were a young mom and it was funny, but all I have to say is really? You should be counting your blessings God gave you a child. There are many out there that would love to be in your position right now high maintenance or not."

July 16, 2011 8:02 PM

I can't bite it anymore. The reality is, it made me sick to my stomach to read this. Not because I thought this person was correct AT ALL or because I felt I owed anyone an apology. I write honestly and if you don't like it, don't read my blog. But DO NOT judge me 1) ever or 2) based on one post you've read of mine. Because if you do (and you did, anonymous), I hope you'll feel like a huge BOOB when you take the time to look back at previous posts where I say things like this about my son:

July 8: Now I'm not going to get all "woe is me" because we tried for 7 months. We have several friends TTC right now and are having a much more difficult time than us so I'm quick to count our blessings.

July 8: I was also completely unaware how much I would love such a tiny little nugget.

July 1: Also before I can any further let it be known that having C has brought us more joy than ever imaginable. He lights up our lives daily and I can't even begin to fathom our lives without him.

I don't think I need to quote any more, though I could. I could blow up your computer screen with all the times I've blogged about how my son absolutely rocks. I sincerely hope you're reading this "anonymous" and I really hope you feel convicted for doing God's job and pouring out your judgement on me for the internet to see. Please don't ever leave a comment like that on my blog again. Better yet, just don't read it.

Winner winner chicken dinner

2011-07-19T11:48:00.001-07:00

Well, it's a tie.
Jessicat828 and hanban7 commented at the EXACT same time.
Unfortunately I only have one of these to give away so they'll have to duke it out...

What? You want to know what it is?

You're going to be very excited to learn that you've won...........

THIS GIANT PIECE OF CRAP!! YAY!!

Now, one of you HAS to take him because that's part of winning, so sorry. Here are some things you should know about your new pet: you have to stand next to him while he eats or he'll walk around the house crying like a little girl, he will barf on your beige carpet, your home will now be covered in stupid cat hair. Best of luck to you in this new journey.

Thanks for playing! Message me with your address and I'll overnight him so you can start bonding bright and early in the morning when he decides it's time for him to eat. You get no say.

GIVEAWAY!!

2011-07-19T09:10:00.001-07:00

BE THE FIRST ONE TO LEAVE A COMMENT ON THIS POST AND YOU'LL WIN SOMETHING ONE OF A KIND AND TOTALLY AWESOME!!

DO IT, YOU WON'T REGRET IT!!

HURRY!!

Open for business

2011-07-18T06:55:00.000-07:00

It's official, friends. Amy Joy Photography is open for business! It's pretty legit, I have a website and everything. It's been a little chaotic lately trying to get everything set up and ready. Big shout out to hubs (who never reads this) for being on C duty pretty much all day Saturday so I could edit and launch everything. SO, think of me if you need some sweet pics taken. I don't do weird stuff though, so take your awkward family poses and go elsewhere.
Here are the deets:
www.wix.com/amyjoyphotography/amy
you can "like" me on facebook: amy joy photography

Next on the agenda: business cards. Look out. This is for realz.

I will laugh in your face

2011-07-14T19:52:00.000-07:00

If you EVER try to tell me your child is also high maintenance. My son is in a league of his own. Like there's regular babies, fussy babies, high maintenance babies, and then C. Getting his 4 month shots didn't help on Monday either. This week has been BRU-TAL. It's like a horrible flashback to the first month of his life. His naps are poopy, he's been fighting going to sleep at night when he used to crash out during his bottle and we wouldn't see him until at least 3:00 a.m. when he wanted his paci. Wednesday he had an entire 60 minute fuss-fest. And don't even get me started on our lunch date Tuesday at Chili's with another mom and her son who was completely content to just chill in his car seat throughout the entire meal. I would have loved to have been sitting in the booth across from us to see the calm, happiness coming from her side of the table and the mass chaos and destruction that was my side of the table. I swear we'll be banned from every restaurant in Springfield by the time he's 1. We had a similar episode at Olive Garden one day for lunch a couple weeks ago. Forget the terrible two's, we're experiencing the terrible 4 months. Ok, so you're still thinking "you're not alone my child was the exact same!" Let me continue to paint this picture for you:
-He has never liked his swing. This is the item that 98% of babies love. I think he fell asleep ONCE in it when he was like 2 days old. Since then, he rolls is eyes at that thing.
-He HAAATES the car. So save your "oh just stick him in the car and go for a drive to calm him down." This would actually have reverse effect. I dread car rides. B and I never get to ride up front together anymore. One of us has to be in the back doing magic tricks and jumping around to entertain the nugget.
-HE NEVER STOPS MOVING. I kid you not. At the previously mentioned Chili's lunch, the other mom's kid literally moved like twice and both times it was his eyes to stare down my son who was making it known to the entire restaurant we were there. He can't sit still, he can't just lay in his car seat for more than 5 minutes. And during those 5 minutes in the seat, his legs are doing some karate kicks. We went back to swaddling last night because he's so spastic. Pretty sure we have a little ADHD child in the making. I blame the diet cokes I drank while pregs.
The ONLY sure thing I have found to instantly calm him these days is to walk outside. Yes, I've even set up a bag chair in the front lawn so we can watch cars and trees. Judge me all you want, I don't even care at this point. So while it's like 150 degrees and every other human is enjoying some nice refreshing AC, you can find us doing laps around the block while sweating off my muffin top.
I love my son, I really do. Fussy butt and all. But hear me and hear me well: God will need to give some CONCRETE PROMISES that if we're supposed to have another child, it will NOT be high maintenance x12. I don't want C to be an only child, but I can tell you straight up I will not go through this again in addition to having a toddler. And if I do go through this again, C will need to be like 15 so I can punish him and make him take care of his sibling. I shudder at the thought of what our "terrible two's" will look like....I need to go get my wine.

I'm not a hoarder, I'm a saver

2011-07-12T14:08:00.001-07:00

My mom was over yesterday and she recently watched like a 12 hour Hoarders marathon or something crazy like that so she's determined to get rid of any and all clutter at her house or anyone else's she may enter. She wanted to start throwing like everything away in my house, including Milo which I was more than ok with. I told her to simmer down, this is not a project to just be started at 2:00 in the afternoon, I have to be in the mood and know it's coming. Now, I am by no stretch of the imagination a hoarder or anywhere close. But I create piles of things that don't necessarily fit into specific places. Currently, our coffee table and desk are the prime spots for these random piles. I'm ready to get rid of the coffee table to free up more floor space since C is pretty into hanging out down there as well as the desk because I have lofty plans for the front room which will soon be converted into his play room. So I decided today I would start throwing things away and clearing these 2 surfaces off. The problem is, the table and desk are homes to some important things like our checkbook and receipts that we keep for something like 4 years (my husband is an accountant, it comes with the territory). So I had to have an alternative place for these things. The best I could come up with is a bookshelf that will be placed on a wall by a window near our dining room table where I will insert some cute baskets on the top shelves for these items and put some of C's toys on the lower shelves where he'll be getting into. This will make more sense visually when I take pics and post them. Ok, all of this to get to the real purpose of this post. I'm easily distracted when I start going through piles. It always took me like 5 hours to clean my room because I'd find notes from old boyfriends and start reading them or something. Well today I found a box of old notes and cards and pictures from when B and I started dating. Naturally I got sidetracked and started reading them all and taking pics so I could let you all see the hilarity of our dating relationship. Here's a little background. B and I started dating in February of 2005 while at EIU. During that summer, he stayed in Charleston for summer classes and I went home. I realized I loved him over the summer but swore up and down I WOULD NOT be the first one to say it, I would wait patiently for him to say it first. Now, if you've known me for 5 minutes, you know patience is not in my vocabulary. I just can't do it. So when I went back to school in the fall we were hanging out one time and I don't remember the conversation but I really felt it was heading in "that" direction..i.e. he was about to say it! Since I was very confident in this, I went ahead and said "I love you" expecting an "I love you" in return. No dice. Here's what I got "Oh. Ok. Well, I can't say it back right now..."
Um...are you kidding me? Shut the front door. Now this was at about 6 months of dating. Do you know when he finally said it back to me? AFTER ONE YEAR OF DATING. For 6 months when I would say it, he would respond with "thanks, babe" ljhsgjfoirhgkjfhdsgfjkhg. What a whore. It all worked out, I guess. So here are some hilarious notes/cards he gave me BEFORE the "I love you" when all he could tell me was how much he LIKED me. Disgusting... Ok this one just cracks me up. Thanks for the look out, B.A sight for sore eyes? Gag me.Please note the enthusiastic "I like you!" + a heart....which does NOT mean he loves me...

Sure you do, B. I'd just like to point out all the underlined words and let you know that I was indeed the Best Girlfriend Ever. So suck on that. And that he likes me so much, of course. The first summer we dated my parents and I went on vaca and B stayed at our house and pet-sat for Max and Milo (he hadn't been around long enough to join us on vaca). When we got home I was sent on a scavenger hunt. I believe the end prize was a season of the Newlyweds and some peanut m&m's. He knew me so well. Too bad he didn't love me. Here's a small sample of the awesome clues I got.Some things about this one: The bridge to connect "any" and "way," "I Like you soooo much" and that there is a "PS" AS WELL AS a "PSS."Ok this pic is just amazeballs. Did you ever think B had so much hair? Now you see where my child gets his ridic hair 'do.

Let me give you a little background on this pic, like you care. This was during my "I want to be a hippie" days. And not a hippie like my friend Sarah who is a hippie mom using cloth diapers, organic goodness and makes her own wipes. A hippie in that I had awesomesauce long curly hair (no it wasn't real. yes it was permed but not like horrible 80's perm with bangs...like it looked legit and peeps thought it was totes real...sometimes I still wish I had this hair), 90% of my shirts were from thrift stores (you know the ones...a little league tee with "bubba" and a number on the back that is really for a second grader but it looks so sweet paired with some faded jeans and birks), I had hemp bracelets and necklaces. All that was missing was a joint in my hand and the lack of a bra. But I didn't smoke pot and wore bras (though probs didn't even need one). Anyway, I grew up and out of this phase but deep down I still long to be a hippster (still sans cloth diapers, homemade wipes and doobies).

Hope you enjoyed this reflection as much as me but you're probs bored so I'll peace out.

Big things are happening around here...

2011-07-11T16:19:00.000-07:00

Number 1: our not so little guy has recently started rolling over. He's been rolling from belly to back for a couple months now but for the past couple weeks, he's been on the verge of rolling from back to belly. He would get so close and it took everything in me to not just tap him the rest of the way. Yesterday I left him with my mom for like an hour and when I got back she said "you've seen him roll onto his back, right?" To which I replied "I'm going to smack you in the face." She wasn't joking. The first time he ever rolled onto his back was with my mother. Are you kidding me? This was the major reason I wanted to be the one to stay home and see all his firsts! I'm not really mad, chill out. Today before we left for his doctors appointment he rolled over. TWICE. I know, I know he's like an all-star but hello, he's my child. Duh. I freaked out and probably scared some poop out of him when I was yelling and clapping and about to cry (ok I wasn't about to cry but I was flipping out). He looked up at me from his belly like "wth just happened? Am I walking or something? Save your energy for some of my bigger achievements, mother."

Number 2: He went to the doctor for his 4 month check-up. Here are his current stats:

Weight: 15 pounds 12 ounces (70%)

Height: 26 1/2 " (93%)

Head: 58%

Still a long, skinny boy with a little head. It's no wonder, the kid kicks his legs like he's about to run a marathon so he keeps those cals off. Smarty pants. So that was the fun part. Then he had to have shots. It didn't help that I had the wrong time for our appt. so we had to wait for 45 minutes in the waiting room. He was already about to lose it and kick some nurses in the jaw. So, he's laying there all semi-happy looking at his light up toy I was holding when out of nowhere they stuck him in both legs at the same time. It was the saddest thing I've ever witnessed. I think he screamed some F bombs, but I let them slide because he was pissed and I don't blame him. Then he looked at me like I was a straight up hooker and he was going to slap me. He eventually calmed down and passed out in the car. Now he has battle scars in the shape of some stupid cartoon character band aids that he probably hates.

passed out before we got out of the parking lot.

Number 3: His doctor gave us the green light to start giving him cereal. I was surprised because originally I had thought she pushed for 6 months. I don't think I want to start it until at least 5 months though. I don't hear a lot of positives about starting them this young. The one thing she did say was that the cereal could help with his reflux.

Well he's screaming more cuss words through the monitor at me and I have to get ready for the bachelorette. Here are some pics to entertain you all:Pre-shots. Poor guy has no idea what's coming, he's just somewhat loving life because he's almost naked. He gets strangely excited to be naked before bath time every night. Worries me a little.
Just watching Nemo...nbd.

On this day in history...

2011-07-08T09:00:00.000-07:00

B and I started TTC (trying to conceive) back in November 2009. There were several months during this time that I was late and got all excited and peed on a couple sticks, only to see 1 line instead of 2 and have my heart drop as were back to trying for another month. Now I'm not going to get all "woe is me" because we tried for 7 months. We have several friends TTC right now and are having a much more difficult time than us so I'm quick to count our blessings. However it was still hard each month. So in July 2010 I was slow to get excited when I was about a week late. In fact it hadn't really even occurred to me yet. Every year, B and his dad go up to Joliet, IL for a nascar race (don't even get me started) the weekend after the 4th of July. Last year they thought it would be fun for ALL of us to go. I kept insisting it really wasn't necessary but the tickets were bought so it was a done deal. B went up early with his dad and for some reason I couldn't go until Saturday. So Friday night I was hanging out in Champaign with B's sister who also happens to be a B (not THAT kind of B) so I'll just call her by her name, Britany. After we ate dinner we went to Target and while there I happened to mention I was about a week late but thought it was just because I was stressed or something. She got all excited and said "buy a test and take it here!!" I said, "meh...I'll do it but you're going to be disappointed because I've had this happen before" I knew not to get my hopes up but I usually did anyway. For some reason this time I didn't have high hopes at all. So there I sat, in the Target bathroom as they were announcing they were closing in 10 minutes peeing on yet another stick. I waited for it to show the usual 1 line.....wth there were 2 lines. TWO LINES?! It was pretty light though so I told Britany to "get the heck out here and look at this" so she did and we looked for awhile and contemplated. We came to the conclusion another test was in order so we drove to Walgreens, picked up a digital one that says either "pregnant" or "not pregnant" and a bottle of water so I could chug it. Here's a pic of test #1:

We went back to Britany's house and after a few minutes I was ready to pee on #2. This one turned pretty quick and told me I was "pregnant" I squealed and then sat on the bathroom floor for a second to process. Britany's hubby was also there so we had to tell him because he assumed one of us was knocked up. He was thankful it was me. After that we drove to Meijer to look at baby clothes (naturally...I mean it's only 11:00 at night...why not?) I knew I didn't want to tell B on the phone so I had to wait ALL night and most of the day Saturday before I could tell him. I got like zero sleep that night as my head was going like non-stop. By the time we got up to Joliet, I had taken 4 tests and I had them all in a Ziploc baggie to show B (creative I know). As soon as I got a second alone with him I whipped out my baggie filled with my pee and showed it to him. It took him a second (you get a little dumber when you're at a nascar race. and I will not apologize for that statement ever) and he looked and me and said "you're pregnant?!" I was too excited for a sarcastic remark. So as much as I hate HATE to say it, nascar has a special place in my heart. Ew. But that was where I got to tell B he was going to be a baby daddy and he was so excited. Here's a pic of us after he knew:I was so unaware at this point how many times in the next 3 months I would be tossing my cookies and feeling like pure shiz. I was also completely unaware how much I would love such a little tiny nugget. It was a good pregnancy...easy. Minus the fat lady feet I obtained at the end and my stomach being stretched an ungodly amount. All worth it for my little man:

Oh, and it probably shouldn't come as a surprise that between the time I found out I was preggers and my first dr. appt. I took AT LEAST a dozen tests. I can't tell you how many times B got mad at me for buying another one. I just had to me sure....every single day. Is anyone really surprised my son is so high maintenance?

M.I.A.

2011-07-07T10:45:00.000-07:00

Apologies to my 2 faithful readers out there. Things have been a bit crazy around here and honestly I feel like my little mundane life is hardly worthy of a blog and I hate to bore you with our day to day adventures. But I'm going to do it anyway. So here's a run-down of what's been happening up in here:
1. We celebrated 4 months of life outside the womb with C yesterday. And by celebrate, I mean did nothing out of the ordinary. I snapped a few 4 month shots with his little sticker on his muscle tee but that's about it.
2. For the past 3 days, C has been falling asleep in the car. Take a moment and re-read that sentence. Great, let's continue. My car is leaking coolant so it's outta commish because it threatened to blow up when I drove it last week. In the meantime, my mom's been kind enough to loan her Prius. Evidently we now need to buy a Prius (you know I'm only partly joking because I will buy anything that claims to make my child even slightly less HM...yes, he's still HM) because he's been falling asleep when I drive home from my parents house. Now, this is mostly because he's been up for like 3 hours which is his max these days and he's about to pass out but whatev, he used to spit on cars and give them the stink eye and think they were for the birds so we'll take it.
3. The Ferber method is in full-swing around here (again). And by full-swing, I obviously mean half-swing. He still wakes up around the 3:00a.m. hour crying for his paci/some comfort I guess so we used to run into his room and stick the cork in his mouth and he'd go back to sleep. But we don't want him to get used to us running in after 2.5 secs of crying....so we (I) am starting to let him cry but he doesn't fall right back to sleep and at 3:00 a.m. I do want to fall right back to sleep so I've been sticking the cork in and going back to sleep. Meh. We've (I've) also started phasing the swaddle out (yes we still swaddle). I don't swaddle during naps in the day but we still do at night. We can try an all night unswaddle during the weekend when B can get up and help. ALSO I've tried a couple times just laying him in his crib for a nap while he's awake. This doesn't work so well yet. Typically we bounce him on the orange ball until he's asleep but again, we don't want him to get used to being bounced for the rest of his life. I'm sure his future wife would really appreciate me living with them and bouncing my 30 year old son to sleep on an exercise ball.
4. I've been trying to learn the ropes of Adobe Photoshop for editing pics if I'm going to get this photog biz off the ground. Which I need to do like STAT but I'm nervy. Satan has been telling me I'm inadequate and that I won't be any good at taking pics and editing them. And lately I've been believing the lies as truths so I'm feeling pretty defeated.
5. And because I don't want to end this post on a pooptastic note, here's something postive: C is so close to rolling from back to belly I almost just have to blow on him to roll him the rest of the way.
Pics from our little photo sesh yesterday that I poorly tried to edit:
Actually, I don't feel like uploading them, sorry. Check them out on facebook if you feel so inclined. I'm tired.

Let's get real, peeps

2011-07-01T10:32:00.000-07:00

I love making people laugh. It's always been one of my favorite things. And I'm being totes (sorry party poopers who hate that word) serious. 99% of the time that's what this blog is, a look into our highly dysfunctional life that truly is worthy of a reality show. I mean Ice T and Coco have one...who even knows who the H coco is? No thanks. I'll stick with the Kardashians. This post is going to be a little different as things aren't always laughing and funny ha ha in the Woodrum house. I'd like to let you in on a little secret: people who appear to have a "picture perfect family" aren't showing you behind the scenes. I could paint that picture too, but it'd be a lie. Also before I go any further let it be known that having C has brought us more joy than ever imaginable. He lights up our lives daily and I can't even begin to fathom our lives without him. Ok, with that little disclaimer here's the down and dirty. B and I have fought more in the past 4 months than we have in the 6 1/2 years we've been together. I love my husband and I love the family we've created. But when you get minimal sleep and hardly ever get to spend quality time together it takes a toll on your marriage. Even the strongest marriages struggle. Thankfully we have Christ at the center so the "D" word is never an option. It's definitely an adjustment going from having the freedom to go out to dinner whenever you want or taking a weekend trip to St. Louis. Or take a cruise like we did for our honeymoon and then again for our 1 year anniversary to barely having time to eat a dinner together at home.You have to be intentional about the time spent together, and creative. Since we're on a STRICT budget these days, paying for a babysitter so we can have a date night isn't exactly feasible anymore. So while C is napping we have to spend that time talking, or playing a game, or eating dinner, or just laughing together. But that takes work. It's much easier to nag B about getting the grass mowed, or unloading the dishwasher, or whining about how tired I am because I've been on C duty all day even though he's been at work all day and didn't get to nap during the day like I did. See, Satan loves it when we look at our spouse as the enemy. Like he's out to intentionally hurt me or make me cry. But B isn't the enemy. We're on the same team. We're both tired but we both love each other. It takes way more work to serve the other when you're exhausted and you can't even catch up on your to-do list (mostly because you're writing blog posts) but it can be done. And it would take me a whole other post to get started on the topic of money. It's a constant topic of discussion in our house, especially because as of today we're live with our new one income budget. But this is where faith comes into play. No it's not easy, yes we love to eat out, yes I love to shop but a part of me longs to live more simply and I believe this is what God wants from me.

Ok I feel like I'm all over the place with this post but all I'm trying to do is be painfully honest. Life gets 100 times harder when you add a kid to the mix. It takes work and lots of it. It's not for the faint of heart but it's well worth it.Our wedding day December 15, 2007. I pray we never lose the love we had this day. B is my best friend. I can't imagine my life without him. He has fallen so easily into the role of a dad. We don't have a perfect marriage and we definitely don't have a perfect family (need I remind you I walked around Babies R Us the other day with poop on my shirt that later had to be thrown out because it was beyond washable?). We fight, we argue, I cry, C screams but we love. And we pray. And we trust that God will continue to bless us in incredible ways as long as we're faithful to Him and turn everything into praise.

Parents to be and new parents, don't be scared. Or do be scared but also put your marriage in God's hands and he'll walk you through it. That's all, I promise more laughs in the next post.

You want me to put WHAT on my hoots??

2011-06-29T07:14:00.001-07:00

Yes, that is a cabbage leaf. And it's currently taking up residence in my bra. Before you judge and laugh let me explain. The pain I've been experiencing in my hoots is probably equal to what it feels like after boob implants (unfortunately the end product is NOT the same). Almost everything I read talked about the magic powers of cabbage leaves. Obviously at first I thought "that's absurd and weird" HOWEVER after suffering in silence (ok let's be honest I whined like a friggin baby) and some coaxing from Sarah (I believe her words were "ladee i will shake you. put some damn cabbage leaves in your bra asap" that's what friends are for) I ran off to Schnucks last night to buy a head of cabbage. Then after a few more informational texts from Sar who just assumes I'm a mermaid and know how to wear a leaf bra, I shoved those puppies in there and waited for their magic to start working. IF YOU READ NOTHING ELSE, READ THIS: THEY WORKED. If ever you are going to let your milks dry up, stuff your bra with cabbage leaves. Yes it's weird. Yes you'll smell like you rubbed a salad all over yourself (better than poop which I had all over my shirt today while I ran to babies r us and didn't realize until I got back into the car to go home. Amazeballs). But trust me friends, as someone who tries every trick for every minor or major episode in my life, cabbage leaves work. I wish I would've tried these like 2 days ago when I could hardly lift my child.

Well I have to run, gotta go change my cabbage leaves.

If you think someone smells like a salad, assume they're letting their hoots dry up. Or that they don't shower. Whatev.

Also, don't ask me WHY cabbage leaves work. I don't ask to see behind the curtain, I just care that it works.

It was a good run...

2011-06-27T14:14:00.000-07:00

I've officially started the breastmilk drying up process. Two words: IT SUCKS. Ok a few more: painful, terrible, horrible, poopy, stupid. I haven't pumped in over 24 hours and it's sooo tempting to pump to alleviate this disgusting pain. I'm pretty bummed I only lasted a little over 3 months with breastfeeding. My initial goal was 6 months but I think going back to work really screwed me over. Ok this is getting more painful by the minute...
Also, if anyone wants a free fat cat that hates young children, Milo is all yours. Tempting isn't it? Oh and he gets up at 4:00 in the morning wanting food and then cries even after you feed him. And he's stupid. Don't pass up this amazing offer for a great free pet. Oh and sometimes he pukes up crap on the carpet. And sometimes he drops random turds around the house. On the bright side: he's probably over half way through his life....
Updates later when my milk is no more and the pain has subsided..

To: my mom

2011-06-24T06:52:00.000-07:00

Kathy, Kath, Kandy (don't ask), Peanut, FRIEND.

This is a post about my mom, a month after mother's day. Meh, better late than never.

She loves the color green. No seriously, like she's obsessed with it. Her car is green.

3/4 of her clothes used to be mine.

She is the definition of "family friendly" If it ain't family friendly, keep it away from kath.

She's my bff.

But we haven't always been besties like we are today. We're insanely similar and I was (yes, WAS) a bratty teenager. Since my brothers are 7 years older than me, it was just my parents and I in the house when I was in high school. My poor dad was always in the middle of Kath and I's arguments. And we both do the silent treatment so well. But then I went off to college and my faith grew and I became more mature (more mature than I was...I still laugh every time C farts). Kath and I started to become friends and today she's my best friend. Now that I have a kid we have a whole new dynamic to our relationship. She sat in the hospital room with us until it was time to push when I, very politely I'm sure, said "ok mom you should probably leave now." She's been there for me whenever I needed her these past 3 months. Like the time we had to call her at 1:00 in the morning during the first couple weeks when C would NOT stop crying. She woke up, came over and got him to sleep so B and I could get a few hours of sleep. She gives her time every week, volunteering several days at different places in the community. She and my dad watched C during the 6 weeks I had to go back to school. They got up early to be at our house by 7:00 every morning. Have I mentioned how blessed I am? We can easily talk on the phone for 20 minutes and I probably just saw her the day before. B is constantly amazed at how well I know her. One day she and my dad came over to our house and I think she had only said like 2 words and I asked if she was crabby. To which she replied in a whiny voice "yeah...so." Later B asked, "how did you know she was crabby?" I just knew. I know my mom. She won't buy a purse, shoes or an item of clothing without getting my approval first (like I'm sort of fashion wizard or something...). When we're together we usually laugh until we cry (and then she pees a little). She encourages me daily to keep breastfeeding and to be the best mom I can. She challenges me. I pray I can be as good of a mother to C as she has been to me. She supports my dad. When he had knee replacement surgery, she was his nurse and I saw the love they have for each other on a whole other level. She raised twin boys and me (which was not as easy as it may sound. I was a handful I'm sure) and now she's a grandma to 6 grandkids (with #7 coming in October...hold your horses it's my bro not me peeps).

I KNOW. No comments about the hair necessary.

I love my son more than I could imagine and I treasure the bond we've already formed. But I pray that someday I can experience a relationship with a daughter like my mom and I have. I wouldn't be the woman, wife, mother, friend, sister, daughter I am today if it weren't for my amazing mother.

Thanks for always pushing me to be better, listening when I speak, supporting me in everything I do (even if I give up breastfeeding), and loving me no matter what. I love you!

Car poop

2011-06-21T10:09:00.000-07:00

I don't know what it is about our car that makes my son do 2 things:
1. Scream
2. Poop
Perhaps the 2 are related. He's screaming because he's trying to poop and he finally poops because he's screaming so hard? It's the most logical explanation I've come up with. I would say 85% of his poops happen when we're in the car. I've washed the cloth part of his carseat twice now because of acid poop. I've also changed 2 ridiculous poops in the back seat of the car with C on my lap. One in a McDonald's parking lot (B offered the ever so helpful suggestion that I could go change him in the McD's bathroom. Sure B, I was looking to give my son a disease today. No. And while we're on the topic of helpful husband suggestions, here's another one. We were trying to figure out C's eating schedule Saturday when we were over at his dad's. We were stopping at a Dairy Queen to see his mom and grandparents so I wanted to wait and feed C a bottle right before we were ready to load up and leave the fine DQ establishment. I needed warm water to make his bottle so B suggests we just use some warm water from the DQ bathroom. When I reply with a big H NO he had a difficult time grasping why I'm not ok with putting DQ bathroom water into my son. The difference between a mom and dad. My solution? Get the bottle warmer than norm before we leave his dad's and feed it to C when we're ready. It worked, the bottle was still warm. Obvi.) and one on the side of the road last weekend. As C gets longer this task gets harder but I persevere and take one for the team, plus get some poops on me as well. Ah, the joys of motherhood.

Would you hire me?

2011-06-16T11:25:00.001-07:00

To take pictures of your babe, you and your precious little fam, your giant preggo belly, your stylish senior pic?

I've always had dreams of being a really awesome photog. I even took a class my freshie year of college, but it was back in the day of REAL film and I had to develop it all, etc. Well then I got real and decided I needed a grown up job (no I'm not knocking being a professional photographer, I'm just jealous) and became a teacher. We all know I'm no longer teaching but rather raising an HMN and since we're down to 1 income I've been brainstorming things I could do to bring in a little extra and photography keeps nagging at me. Particularly around 3:00 a.m. when I'm waiting for a screaming child to fall back asleep. So I present you with these two questions:

1. Do I have any volunteer models; preferably preggo women, new babes or any age babes, cute couples (or not cute couples, whatev) that would let me practice taking pics of them for free?

2. In a couple months when I become like a freakin' photog all star, would you pay me to take your picture? Don't worry, I have a way of getting my hands on a sweet cam (and it's legal) so the pics would look hot.

Tell the truth. Because I always tell you all the truth. Also tell me what things would make you want to hire me (like would you prefer me if I had long hair? Cause I'd get extensions it if you'd give me money...)

Don't hold back....give it to me straight. Or if you don't want to go through the whole picture song and dance, you can just mail me money. Whichever works best for you, I'm flexible.

xoxo,

A, aspiring photog extraordinaire

Underwhelmed and things that smell so bad it should be illegal

2011-06-15T08:33:00.000-07:00

So, my son doesn't get excited about many baby toys. He's usually like "eh, I'm way too cool for this piece of plastic that rattles so I'll just shove it in my mouth and slobs all over it." There are a couple things that peak his interest for about 5 minutes though.

1. Play mat. Now I know Sarah is gagging right now at all the primary colors but whatev, he likes it so it stays. The top white thing plays the same annoying songs over and over but he doesn't seem to mind. It also turns these little birds around in circles that he finds incredibly fascinating. He likes the hangy things and we usually can kill about 15-20 minutes on this thing.

2. This is his new bestie. His tummy crinkles and C thinks that's pretty cool. He puts any part of the dog in his mouth. It makes him smile which makes me smile because he's not crying. Yay.

That's pretty much it these days. He's almost to the exersaucer stage so that'll be like a whole new world. Here are some things that excite most babes, but completely underwhelm my babe.

1. The swing. I mean I think this face says it all: "get me out or I'll blow out my diaper in this white cloth swing" but he was a trooper and stayed in there for about 5 minutes.

He even let monkey hang out with him but that didn't help much.

2. Let us not forget about the ridculously boring kiddie pool. Clearly he's ready for the high dive. And it doesn't help when Max steals his water

Ok, onto smelly things that make me gag. Naturally you would think it's poop but no. It's actually his formula. Whenever I clean out a formula bottle and forget to hold my breath, I about drop to the floor and pass out. I don't understand how C can actually eat this crap. It literally smells worse than the liquid stinkfest that happens in his diaper. Kinda makes me wonder what the H they put in that stuff....

In sleeping news: C hates it again. Here's our nighttime sched: asleep around 10:00, awake at 2:00 (usually on his back with one or both arms out of his swaddle, crying), awake again at 3:00 (same deal), awake around 4:45-5:00 when I finally feed him. During the day he does his 30 minute crap. Not sure what to do, but this mama needs sleep or someone's going to get hurt. And Milo is just asking for it...

Crazy things are happening around here...

2011-06-12T12:21:00.000-07:00

You would think as someone who taught parenting and child development I'd know a thing or two about parenting and child development. I do not. As a teacher you get to have the teacher textbook with all the answers so I didn't need to know anything. Now that I have a kid though, I wish I had paid more attention to my own lectures because maybe I wouldn't be so in shock by the fact that my THREE MONTH OLD is very likely TEETHING RIGHT NOW. WTH? I'm not ready for my baby to have teef. What a crazy concept. During like his second week of life I just wanted to him be like three months old...now he's three months old and I want time to stop. More importantly, I am NOT ready or mentally prepared to start the "teething" process. The non-stop drools already has me cringing and I hate putting a bib over all his cute little shirtsies. Also, the constant gnawing on his fist which then produces gallons of saliva is getting old. I literally had no clue teething could start this early. Probably it's a good thing I'm no longer a teacher since I'm so clueless. So, I went through all C's teething rings he got as gifts way along time ago that I thought I wouldn't need to be opening for several more months. He also hardly ever wants to lay in your lap anymore. He's all about standing on his chubbing little legs and checking everything and everyone out...while drooling like an insane person. I know they grow up fast but COME ON. This is going faster than normal. I'm more thankful than ever I'm staying home with the little slobbersaurus now. I swear tomorrow he'll walk up to my side of the bed and say "excuse me, mother, I'd like some milk now please." Before you know it I'll be ready for another nugget.....

IN LIKE THREE YEARS, psychos. Let us never forget about those first 2 months...ok 3 months...ok it's still a little rough. But it's getting better. We've pretty much got the Ferber method going full swing. He naps for 30 minutes, wakes up like clock work, cries for 30 minutes during which we go in, pat his back and offer the paci, walk out and continue in longer increments of time until he calms back down and sleeps for 1.5-2 more hours. Oh and he's back to being swaddled full time. Don't ask. He rolls from his tummy to his back like it's child's play. HE'S BACK TO LIKING THE TEET. Sorry for the awkwardness of putting that in all caps but it's exciting for me. Thankful I didn't throw in the towel and we stuck it out. Though I can't say how long I'll be sticking it out once he pops some teeth out. First time my nip gets bit, we done. End of story.
Well I'm on the hunt for some good bargains on an exersaucer, johnny jump up and a high chair since my 3 month going on 5 year old son will probably be needing all these things like this week. Crazy boy.
P.S. sorry for lack of pics. I'll try to snatch one of his gross droolness this week.

Ode to a Big Orange Orb

2011-06-08T07:17:00.000-07:00

To you peeps this may just look like a regular orange exercise ball with a fat cat next to it. However, it's actually a magical orange orb with a fat cat next to it. I have to give all the credit to my brother Eric and his wifey Mary for discovering this little piece of heaven on earth. Without it C would have probably never have stopped crying since the day he was born (no I'm not dramatic at all...). This thing does a couple of things miraculously:

Calms C down when he gets upset

Gets him to sleep pretty quickly (5-10 minutes)

To all you soon-to-be moms or newbie moms out there: GET ONE. Trust me, as a mom to literally the most HM babe out there, this thing works. I mean, when my parents were watching him while I finished the school year, they went out and bought one for their house (mostly because the orange orb was originally theirs but we snatched that thing up real quick when we realized what we had on our hands) because it is THAT crucial for our day-to-day routine. Seriously, get one. Forget the nap nanny and books by "famous" doctors and anything else that swears to reduce fussing. Just buy an exercise ball!

P.S. I don't have an after pic of the closet debacle yet as it's not finished. And yes, B crapped himself when he walked in yesterday as I predicted.

The Great Closet Switch

2011-06-07T10:46:00.000-07:00

Here's a little background info on our home:

It's old.

I don't know how old, but I'd say at least 80 years? I could very well be way off on that. It's a "bungalo" style and PTL it has a basement or we'd be screwed. It's 2 bedrooms and 1 bath. As a result of this small(er), old home we're very limited on closet space. Each bedroom has a small closet, we have a small closet in the hallway and a tiny one in the bathroom. Back when I was preggo B installed some closet organizer shelves in the closet that would be C's room to try to maximize space since B and C would be sharing this closet. So I was left with the closet in our bedroom. I've been asking B to install the same closet organizer in my closet to give me more space because my clothes are literally spilling out. Well, several months later he still hasn't installed my organizer and this morning was the last straw. Because his closet is in C's room, he has to get his clothes out in the morning when he's getting ready. Unless we're on top of it and he thinks to get his clothes out the night before. This was not the case last night. Now, also with an old home comes really obnoxiously loud squeaky floors and doors and door knobs. So C is sleeping great this AM and probably has another hour in him when B "sneaks" into his room to get his clothes out....I think you know where this is going...I was unaware of this happening because I was in that deep sleep where your mouth is gaping open and I'm drooling and spiders are crawling in or whatever because you swallow like a billion a night or something (sick) because I was up at 5:00 to feed C and pump. You can imagine my reaction when I hear through the monitor C waking up and fussing. Aw no he di'nt. I throw the covers off, storm into the living room with fire shooting out of my eyes and this is what goes down:

me: uhh did you just go in there?
B: yeah, I had to get my clothes out
me: well now you can get him back to sleep

B: but I have to leave for work

me: TOO BAD

He spends some time in there patting his back and whatever else that was not working because C was still crying. So he continues to get ready and I come back out REALLY pissed now:

B: I'm sorry

me: SORRY DOESN'T GET HIM BACK TO SLEEP

I got him back to sleep but that only lasted about 30 minutes.

So I took matters into my own hands. Switching cloests. While C was up and somewhat calm I started the process. Oiy. Probably not one of my brightest ideas but whatev. I was heated and you NEVER wake a sleeping baby. Especially OUR sleeping baby. COME ON B GET IT TOGETHER.

My closet before. I know, hot mess

Closet during the moving process This is what our bed currently looks like...of course C isn't still laying there...or is he?

Well, hubs is about to get home and naturally he has no idea what I've been up to today. Lord knows he'll crap a few bricks when he walks in and sees our bed (actually you can't really see our bed) COVERED in piles of my clothes, scarves, and shoes. This is what you get when you wake a sleeping HMN, B.

*"After" pics to come later when B helps me move it all.

3 Months

2011-06-06T13:06:00.001-07:00

3 months ago today, I pushed out the cutest little nugget. Then a couple hours later I pushed out the most beautiful baby boy...

Here are some things he's up to these days:

Holding his head up like a champ

Likes to "stand" while you hold him up

Smiling like crazy, especially when he wakes up, after he eats, and during bath time

Flipping over onto his back and busting out of his swaddle

Imitating the noises we make when our mouths

Making little noises like he's trying to talk

Farting. A lot

Chillin' in his recliner (aka the nap nanny)

Still hates being in the car

He's at an incredibly fun age and I just love hanging with this little guy.

HAPPY THREE MONTHS OF LIFE LITTLE BAMBINO!!trying to talk to me while looking like a stud in his muscle tee

still trying to tell me something super important

Thanks mom, for spending your days with me...(that's what he's trying to say, you can tell)

IT'S OFFICIAL....

2011-06-06T12:51:00.000-07:00

H no I'm not popping another nugget out, get your mind out of the gutter. I am, however, OFFICALLY a SAHM as of 10:00 this morning. What what. I can already tell I'm going to love this new career venture. Here's what our day has consisted of since I left school:

Met my folks at Cafe Moxo for a little celebratory brunch as it was my last day at school AND 3 months of life for little man (more on that in a different posty)

Came home, bounced C until he passed out, layed him in his crib, breathed a sigh of relief and got to the kitch to wash about a dozen bottles

C started crying at his usual 30 minute mark. I let him cry for about 10 minutes, went in, gave him is paci, patted his back and he went back into baby dream land (where I just know he dreams of his future with miss HL)

An hour and half later (mom: 1) I had baked cookies for the bachelorette viewing party this eve, washed dishes, and played some mahjong tiles (don't judge). Oh and made my to-do list for the week.

Fed C, made ridiculous sounds with my mouth and laughed while he tried to mimic them, watched him play on his play mat and kick his legs so hard I thought he'd rocket himself off the mat

And he's currently back in the crib snoozing UNswaddled because at the previous nap, he kicked the bottom part off in his baby rage. I'm thinking it's time to start phasing out of the swaddle....this scares me.

So that's it so far. We're approaching the half hour mark since I laid him down and I always hold my breath around this time. I can't wait for more days like these. His sweet smiles and attempts to talk make all our cutting back on expenses so worth it. I could do without the hot temps that make my butt sweat when I take 2 steps outside, though. Also looking forward to filling up my texting inbox with messages to my soul sis Sarha. In the words of my hubs last night as I had to delete messages because I already filled it up in just 24 hours "that is insane" Yeah well suck it B. SAHM and future in-laws gotta stick together.

peace.

We're getting braver

2011-06-03T09:57:00.000-07:00

B and I ventured out to dinner last night with C in tow. Now, you may be thinking "geez, you waited 3 months to go with your baby? That's a long time" and you would be correct, it is a long time. But I'm fairly certain I do not need to refresh your little brains about the type of child we're dealing with...HMN ring any bells? I am not about to be "that person" in a restaurant unable to control 12 pounds of chubby while doing some song and dance around the restaurant for all to see and judge. No. We did take him once to a hibachi grill at the end of March for my mom's b-day but that was back in the days of actually SLEEPING in his carseat and the car. Those days are long gone and I knew he wouldn't be asleep during this venture. So we stuffed him up with milk and happy thoughts and stuck him in the death car. He lasted about halfway through the meal in his carseat just chillin' while I held up some brightly colored book of nonsense for him to look at. Once he started to get restless and I started to panic and get sweaty in anticipation of a meltdown, I got him out and held him while mastering the art of not only eating one handed, but LEFT handed. Oh stop, I swear I'm not super mom. (But I am getting pretty close.) He's getting to be an all-star at holding his tiny little head up (I should think so, he's only in the 36th percentile for head circumference. It shouldn't be that heavy) so he just looked all around (spit up on my shoulder once which only added to my hottness that was an old volleyball t-shirt and yoga pants. Thanks son) and smiled at the ladeez (none could compare to his long-distance honey in Indy though...luh you HL). So with a successful dinner out under our belt we're feeling like parents of like the decade or whatever. You can roll your eyes all you want at this small "accomplishment" but a small accomplishment in high maintenance nugget world is like walking on the freakin' moon to you all with "easy" and "content" stupid babies. Apologies for that last sentence, I took it too far I know. I actually don't even know if that analogy made any sense but I don't care. It's 90 degrees outside and I'm sitting in a classroom with no AC. Evidently it's NOT 2011 but rather 1900.

I was too busy trying to rush the waiter so he didn't have to judge me during a baby breakdown that I forgot to snap pics of this field trip so you'll just have to look at his cuteness before we left the house.

In other non-baby news, today is my last day as a teacher. Whoop. Onto bigger and better things like making ridiculous sounds with my mouth and cleaning up poop that resembles syrup and smells like acid that has the ability to make your eyes water. Envy me. But seriously, I'm very excited to start my new occupation as a SAHM/entrepreneur (I don't know what I'm entrepreneur-ing, but people that do this are typically rich, maybe in an illegal way but that's ok. We're open to it.) A littler nervy about what we'll do all day but I'm sure I can find mindless ways to entertain him. I know he loves to look at the TV (just kidding judgmental moms out there, I won't stick him in front of it all day....) Well, time to finish packing things up. I have to be at school for 2 hours Monday THEN I can say I'm officially done.

xoxo,

entrepreneur specialist of marketing and sales director and CEO incorporated.

A post about thankfulness

2011-05-31T10:29:00.000-07:00

I spent some time on my lunch today doing a couple things. First, I cleaned out my desk and collected most of my things from my classroom in preparation of Monday being my last day. Second, I pumped which has nothing to do with anything except it came next in the sequence of events. Third, I went through the pictures of Caden on my phone since he was born and that's when it hit me: I am SO thankful for everything God has so richly blessed me with. Every couple posts I get all sentimental and sappy on you but I don't appologize. I tend to get all stressed and caught up in the day to day life of washing bottles and pumping equipment, struggling to get C to nurse well, establishing a schedule, maintaining a somewhat clean home, and finishing up teaching that I forget to take a breath and thank God for life itself. C is literally perfect and sometimes when I look at him sleeping, or when he wakes up and he's super happy and smiling it takes my breath away. Literally (old SNL skit reference if you didn't pick up on that). B and I are SO blessed it's ridiculous. I'm so thankful for a fairly easy pregnancy (I say "fairly" because I mean, do we need to revisit the swollen feet? Didn't think so), a super easy labor with zero complications, a perfect son, an amazing husband, etc. I do appologize if it sounds like I'm bragging or tooting my own horn (what, am I 90 now?). That's not how I mean this to sound. I'm just trying to wrap my tiny little brain around God's mercy and why WHY He has chosen to so richly bless US. While I ponder that, I'll indulge you in a look back at the past 3 months with our little nugget:In the hospital looking super fly and totally awesomeThis is back when his paci looked huge on his little headOur little hobit friendOne month!The sun was so super bright he needed shades on his eyes and his shirtSmiley boyOne of my fav pics to dateAnother fav during tummy timeI KNOW.He has such awesome smilesLittle Houdini just doing what he does best
Finally starting to show some love to monkey

Can't believe it's already been 3 months. I almost ALMOST have forgotten how huge I was...but then I remember and throw up and think about how it will be years and years before I put myself through that again. Or we'll just go with whatever God has in store for us and trust it's the best plan :)

hot sweaty hugs

I'm not ready!

2011-05-29T19:34:00.001-07:00

This weekend I've almost thrown in the breastfeeding towel like 500 times. I don't make up my mind well. I think I proved this to be true around the time I bought the Nap Nanny (which is still sitting behind our couch collecting dust...) out of pure desperation. Anyway, C is still refusing to take the teet but I'm just as strong-willed and I refuse to give up. This morning was probably the worst episode we've had for a couple reasons. 1) I tried pumping this morning and my pump is dying. I bought it used from a friend (you can give me the sanitation speech all you want, i was determined to not buy a brand new pump for $300...uh no) and I think it finally had enough of my boob too, just like my son...tear...So there I sat with engorged ta ta's and my pump quits. So I wake up C from his awesome slumber (he went 9 hours last night, plus 2 hours when I had to wake him up) to start the feeding process before we had to leave for church. Well he's not having it. He's all like "your teet is too slow, step it up mom" and he said this while holding his breath and making his face really red and angry. So B tried to calm him down and put him back on...no...still not working. So I lose it because C is losing it and we're all a bunch of hot messes (literally for B, he sweats like a monkey, it's ridiculous). We end up giving him a bottle and I pull myself together while my mind is racing trying to figure out our next move: buy a new pump and keep trying? throw in the towel and start researching how to let your milk dry up? (terrified of this option, p.s.) rent a pump from Walgreens? jgfdgionfkjdgkjdn (that's my mind.) So my mom and I end up going to Walgreens after church to look into renting a pump because I realized I'm not ready to be done. I love the time with C (when he's NOT turning red out of pure hatred for my teet) and I really want to keep going. I have too many guilty feelings when I think about quitting right now. Ok, Walgreens rent-a-pump=jank city. I don't even know what the means, but it's not good. It comes in like a plastic blue toolbox contraption and I'm not about to haul that to and from school for this last week. I also would have had to buy a $50 accessory kit because it's a hospital grade pump. We said no thank you and decided to just buy one and see if insurance will cover any of it (rumor is they will now because it's considered "medical equipment"...heck yeah it is, insurance).

So that's where we're at. A new Medela pump that is so quiet and lovely, a child who still hates my teet (though he did do 20 good minutes on one side earlier tonight), and a hard-headed mother who refuses to quit yet. He seems to prefer the right side, he can settle down and eat on that side but flips his lid on the left side. Picky eater like his mom. I also just bought these bottles:

"They" say they're more difficult for babies to get milk out of and are the most similar to a nip and breastfeeding. I sure hope so (I know you're rolling your eyes right now because I've bought something else but I don't really care...roll away, peeps).

C is holding his head up like a champ lately and it's so much fun. He's also starting to mimic me when I stick my tongue out and makes noises. He tries to do it and laughs and it's the best thing ever.

But, the most important news of the weekend is this: C met his future wife on Saturday, HL. It was love at first involuntary touch on the play mat. HL is 9 days younger than C and his mama and I have known since our bellies touched at her baby shower they were destined to be hubs and wifey someday. They truly are alien babes and it freaks Sarah and I out when we text each other every day about the exact same things they're doing. Crazy kids.

Well I have go, hubs is about to crap himself during some stupid nascar race and I'm so annoyed it should be a crime. Why? Why does he have to love this "sport"? WHY? I kid you not this just happened: B held up his Budweiser and said (to the TV) "this buds for you" in reference to whatever idiot just won the race. Shoot me now.

ATTENTION: BREASTFEEDING MOMS!!

2011-05-25T14:59:00.000-07:00

I NEED YOUR HELP

Here's the scenario:
I tried feeding C from the tap this afternoon when I got home. He wasn't having it. He kept popping off and on, not ever really latching. He started crying/fussing/squirming. Now we're not talking about a few little grunts or cries, we're talking red faced, serious crying. He would not settle down even with the nip in mouth. I was crying as he was crying. We were a mess. I tried for 30 minutes. Finally, as he was breaking down, I started a bottle with must resistance. So what's the deal?
My theories:
-after taking bottles more frequently, he's uninterested in the tap
-it's not coming out fast enough?

That's pretty much all I've got. Once I have him the bottle he chugged it down and passed out. This makes my heart very sad because if he won't drink from the tap I'm done. I'm not going to continue this by just pumping and feeding him breast milk through a bottle. Pumping is my enemy and after school is done, pumping is done. Period.
Has this ever happened to you? Is it a phase? Should I keep offering the teet? GIVE ME ANSWERS!!
Please and thank you.

What's that? You want to buy me an early b-day present?

2011-05-25T11:44:00.001-07:00

Sure! Here's what you can get me:

(click for larger picture and detes)

I already have these lovely ladies and they sure are lonely without a sibling...

Now, I realize my b-day is like 8 months away...but here's what I used to pull with my parents: when I would want something long before my b-day, I'd just tell them to deduct it from my b-day funds but then when my actual b-day rolled around, they'd still get me stuff. Selfish? Absolutely. But it's not MY fault I was born a month after Christmas which means come May, I see all these cute springy things I want but can't have them because by January everythings lame and cold and wintery. Boo. I think I'd rather just have my b-day cake on January 14th and get my presents on June 14th. Who says you can't move your b-day celebration? It's my day, after all (ok, so I take the whole week...)

OH and I'll take THESE C (could you just die?)

Houdini

2011-05-25T05:49:00.000-07:00

Have you met my son, Houdini? I have never met a squirmier child. I should have known by how active he was in the womb. I'm sure I have internal bruises from his kicks and punches (I'll ground him for that later). While I'd love to blame B for poor swaddle work, it really doesn't matter how tight he's wrapped, he'll get out. He'll also flip over to his back. Developmental milestone, yes. A bit annoying, also yes. He still hates being on his back (see above picture.) So when he gets himself turned over, he throws a fit and gets himself worked out of the swaddle.

My dad snapped this pic this morning after I had already left. Good to know he has both upper and lower body strength. He always wiggles himself up to the corner of the crib and a couple times I've gone in to check on him and I'm all freaked out he's going to suffocate in the bumpers (go ahead, bumper haters, turn me in to DCFS).

Here's the other annoyance we're currently going through with our little Houdini: 3:00 a.m. feedings. Not cool, C. The past 2 nights he's been getting up at 3:00 to eat and I'm not a fan (even though B has gotten up both nights to feed him. I feel this is only fair considering every afternoon I boob feed C for like an hour each time and walk away with uber raw nips.) So tonight's plan? Give him more to eat before bed time. When in doubt, stuff him with more milk.

Now, I know you all were wanting to hear a hilariously awkward and embarrassing story about me getting walked in on while working my milk cow gig (thanks friends) but there is no story. I was eating my lunch and getting READY to pump when a teacher had a security guard unlock my door to get her lunch out of the fridge (a serious down side to being a foods teacher). Sorry to disappoint but not sorry because I wasn't mortified and as pissed as I could have been. I am still quite baffled (ew I really hate that word now that I've typed it out and said it in my mind) as to why you would go get a security guard to unlock a classroom that IS NOT YOURS. Keep your lunch where all the other teachers have to keep theirs. Or become a Foods teacher and get your own damn fridge. Sorry, it just heats me a bit. What's the point in locking your door if someone's just going to unlock it anyway? I might as well sit in the middle of the hall during passing periods for the whole school to see while I pump the nips. Ok I exaggerate. And I'm done, for reals.

Peace.

a post about sacrifices

2011-05-23T09:44:00.000-07:00

1. More than 1 beer/glass of wine/margartias

2. DAIRY

3. Caffiene

4. Tanning, shopping, spending any sort of "extra" monies

Ok let's break these down:

1. More than 1 beer/glass of wine/margaritas. I've had a couple beers since he's been born (only 1 at a time though). I'm terrified of putting him into a drunken stooper with more than 1 beer or more than 1/2 a glass of wine. Paranoid? Maybe. But as previously mentioned, I'm not about to pump and dump (H no). Oh what I wouldn't give for a ginormous strawberry margarita from a Mexican restaurant (because you know they make the best...and strongest.)

2. DAIRY. Oh. My. GOSH. I never thought this would be so hard. I thought Diet Coke would take the cake on most difficult thing to cut out of my life. C had been like gassy to the max lately so my mind automatically went to my diet...which automatically went to dairy. I eat alot of dairy peeps. I love pizza, ice cream, cheese sticks...cheese in any form really, chocolate milk. Friday night on our way home we were thinking of places to pick something up for dinner and literally EVERYTHING I get had cheese on it (Subway...no good without cheese, Arbys...beef n' cheddar, Chipotle...no good without cheese and sour cream, Taco Bell...well barf for starters, but a taco with no cheese? Enough said.) So I settled for my fave Noodles dish sans feta cheese (sads) but forgot to tell B to omit the mushrooms (yes I'm picky...deal) because I just ASSUMED since we're married he knows how I like all my fave dishes from like every restaurant. Not a good assumption? Yeah I learned that. But I mean come on I know all of his (Noodles: Pad Thai. Taco Bell: Whatever big box meal deal they have going on that is sure to clog some arteries. McD's: 2 double cheeseburgers. Subway: Steak and cheese. Chili's: fajitas. I could go on, but you get my point.) I'm the better spouse, obvi. Anyway, I shed some tears for reals and whipped up a crap-o PB & J. I've almost been a week dairy free and as much as I hate HATE to admit it, it's probably for the best when trying to lose this muffin top to just quit dairy. Suck. So I'll continue eating my pasta with red sauce and no parm cheese :( And you can just keep your cheese-less tacos and Subway sandwhiches. I'll pass.

3. Caffeine. Difficult? Yes. Impossible? No. I drank a Diet Coke a day. No biggie. But I'm not a coffee drinker so my DC in the a.m. got me going. And sometimes gave me something to look forward to in the middle of the day. Now I drink boring Sierra Mist which has gotten even MORE boring and completely useless as I have switched to Sierrra Mist FREE. I know. What's the point? It gives me a break from lame water, ok? Also, before I was preggers, I was an avid Venti Light Caramel Frappacino drinker. I would reward myself on Fridays. And Mondays for getting out of bed. And Wednesdays because it's the middle of the week. Shut up and don't judge. Now? Nothing. "Welcome to Starbucks may I take your order?" "Yeah, I'll take a Sierra Mist with no calories or goodness" "Yeah....we don't have crap drinks here. Only really awesome ones with magic caffeine and yummies" "Oh, ok. I'll just head to Qik N EZ for a 32 oz. Sierra Mist Free" Aaaaand shoot me.

4. Tanning, Shopping, any sort of "extra" monies. Yes I know it can cause cancer. Yes I know it makes your skin leathery. Yes I know my mother threatens to not pay for chemo if I get skin cancer. But I just look SO much better tan. And I do not have the patience to lay in the real sun for like 2 hours while sweating when I could get just as tan in 20 minutes. Now, I know Sarah will be yelling at me for this and that's fine because I'm NOT tanning. But if we could afford it, you best believe I'd be soakin up those fake UVs and skin cancer. Mmmm. Shopping: what female doesn't love it? I'm a known shopaholic. I love shoes, purses, tops, all of it. Thankfully my bod is less than hot at the moment so shopping is not-so-fun. Plus we ain't got no dolla dolla billz so my shopping habit is pushed to the side. Like, far far to the side. Probably won't be seen for a long time :(

Yes, these sacrifices suck. I'd love to be able to sit on the deck in the afternoon sipping a margarita while online shopping. Or laying in a coffin-sized UV death bed gettin' sexy. Or living day to day on frappacinos until my heart gave out from a caffeine overload. OR SHOVING MY FACE WITH PIZZA AND ICE CREAM. But the choice is simple. The choice to give up shopping, eating out on a weekly basis, having iPhones all so I can stay home with my little man is a no brainer. Cheese? What's cheese? (ok, that's a stretch) I'd gladly give it all up to see my nugget smiling and happy. To know I get to see him every day. I get to be the one to see him laugh for the first time, take his first steps, feed him his first solids. I would give up ANYTHING to ensure he's healthy and happy. He's my life now and there's nothing I wouldn't do for him. I pray daily he makes wise choices. That he chooses a godly wife (that's actually already been chosen for him, so I just pray he accepts it and goes with it...right Sar?). That he looks back and thanks me for giving up dairy so he didn't have to fart so much. You're welcome, C. I'd do it all again the next day and the next times 1 million. And I will, because this is my life now:please excuse the white-trashy-ness that is my bra hanging all over the place. i just love C's blue steel look.aren't those toes just the yummiest?

haha, mom. you can't have ice cream because of me.

i really don't think that little face is saying that, though. looks more like "i love you mom. so much that i watch you wherever you go and i can't take my eyes off you" (it's true and it's the sweetest, most heart-melting thing i've ever experience in my life.)

Need a good laugh?

2011-05-18T18:34:00.000-07:00

Look no further. For your entertainment this evening, I am providing a look into the past. This was only about 3 months ago. There really are no words....actually I can think of many, the first one being VOM.

Feast your eyes upon those bad boys and I dare you not to barf..
Those, my dears, are my feet at about 36 weeks fat. I know, both hilarious and disgusting at the exact.same.time.
Now you understand why I could only wear flip flops and Birkenstocks in February. For the love.

Also, did I miss the memo regarding mismatched neon colored socks being worn with flip flops?? No? Didn't think so but this is what I see daily at school. I bring this up since we're on the topic of things that make you vom, and that "fashion statement" (though I don't think you can actually call it fashion) makes me vom in my mouth a little every time. Just take the socks off, ladies. Or put some tennies on and all is forgiven.

xoxo,
nolongerobesefeet mama

In true classy girl fashion....

2011-05-18T10:58:00.000-07:00

...I took pics of my hobo milk holder which will NOT cause me great distress due to a loss of my precious liquid gold.
Though my lack of a tan will certainly make me tear up.
xoxo,
happy milk cow.

poop. poop poop poop

2011-05-18T10:04:00.000-07:00

Well, I did it again. The most horrible thing I said I would NOT do again...

Remember how I forgot lids to my milk storage thingys so I fashioned make shift lids that were less than sub par and janky and so they spilt and I cried? I DID IT AGAIN. I forgot my lids. Why do I keep doing this? I'll tell you EXACTLY why. I'm the type of person who likes to have as many things done ahead of time to alleviate stress the morning/day of. Well, bad news for me, pumping equipment can't be packed up the night before because I'm still using it that night. And most of my parts have to dry overnight. Enter: high stress level in the morning. I rarely have myself even started to be ready at 7:00 when one of my parents gets to our house to pick up nugget and I shoot to leave at 7:15 (it doesn't happen. like ever). Let me just tell you--these babies can NOT spill today or I will literally check myself into the straight jacket hospital because I'll be certifiable. I can hardly keep up these days with nugget's latest milk intake increase. Seriously, he'd live attached to my teet 24/7 if I let him (that wouldn't get judgemental looks at all). So I pump like it's my job and coach my teets to just keep pumping but they don't listen. They get tired and quit before I've met the quota.
I have to go think about how I'm going to make a better lid than last time. I'm looking at my 16oz. bottle of Squirt on my desk and thinking I'll be cleaning it out and using that. Classy, that's how we do it over here.

You all stay classy out there. And be thankful you don't have tired nips that just want to retire. Unless you do, then it sucks for you and me both.

Lightbulb moment

2011-05-17T19:02:00.000-07:00

I've had an epiphany. Before you go crap yourselves because I actually had a deep thought, let me explain.

One night during my freshie year at college (i. am. eiu. shout out) I was attending a Wednesday night Bible study at the Campus House (shout out #2) (o.m.g. stop shouting out and get to the epiphany already) and the worship leader, Ben, started explaining a concept I wouldn't fully comprehend or experience until 8 years later. Vom. It's been 8 years since I was a freshie in college. Sorry, I digress easily. He told us he never fully understood God's love for us until he had children. Then it became the most clear illustration for him because he realized as much as he loves his kids (alot), God loves us even MORE. And he realized he would do anything for them, even lay his life down for them. Do you see where I'm going with this? I'll expand for my slower readers...
Today, for some unknown reason, that concept came back to my mind and I finally got it. The light bulb went off. I love C more than I EVER thought possible. I mean I loved him as soon as I saw that plus sign on the pee stick (or the 12+ because that's how many I took...no lie), but h.o.l.y. cow when I saw that little face and held him for the first time it was instant. I would do anything for this little life. I would die for him, no questions asked. I know he'll hurt me, disappoint me, and make me angry when he gets older (though I'm sure it will be a rare occurrence....). But I'll forgive him and show him grace. Again and again and again. Now I know so much better how God feels about us, His children. We hurt Him and disappoint Him on a MINUTE basis but He forgives us so much quicker than I'll be able to forgive C I'm sure.
So there was my epiphany. My light bulb moment. Some of you parents out there are probably like "duh, I drew that parallel like the first day I had my child" but I'm slow and tired so shutty. Please now feast your eyes upon my child who is so adorable it often (I pronounce the "t" in often and it drives my mom crazy. Anyone else pronounce the "t"?) takes my breath away.

Meet Monkey (clever, I know). C could care less about monkey and thinks he's no different from any other blanket. But I had a bunny I always carried around and I think it's cute when babies have a favorite soft thing. Enter: monkey. So I'm forcing C to love him because I'm the mom and I can. So far it's going nowhere.

I TOTES (that's "totally" for those still living in a cave) KNOW. Wouldn't you die for this face?

Do you see the hair situation I'm working with here?? Hoping that mohawk isn't permanent. OR many I hope it is...

Ultimate Sleep Fighter

2011-05-16T17:07:00.001-07:00

Seriously, this kid will not give up. As I sit here typing this, he's been in his crib crying for almost 30 minutes. Why don't I go in and get him you ask? BECAUSE NOTHING WORKS. Since he woke up from his last 30 minute nap around 3:45, he's slept about 20 minutes. And it's 7:00. I fed him, burped him, tried bouncing, tried the swing. He yawns. He's tired. But he won't give up. Ok I'm going in.
So I unswaddled him to try something else, bounced him, he didn't fall asleep (go figure) so I laid him back down and he's crying again. His paci is of no use because when he starts burrowing his little face it falls out.
This is wearing me down emotionally and I don't know what to do with myself. Listening to him cry just rips my heart out and it's even worse knowing all he needs is sleep but he won't fall asleep. I'm about to slip some nyquil in his next bottle....jk....this is no time for jokes.
Well, I better get going. I have some crying to attend to because that's about all I can do while he lays in there screaming....

New Attitude

2011-05-15T19:21:00.000-07:00

I realized something on my way to youth group tonight and I've decided to have a new attitude about this whole high maintenance baby thing for 2 main reasons:

1. We have several close friends currently trying to conceive and having difficult times. I know without a doubt they would give almost anything to be sleep deprived and trying to tame a HMN to be able to have a child. This is a huge slap in the face when I sit back and think about all my complaining about how he doesn't sleep and I'm so frustrated, etc. We've been blessed for reasons I'll never fully understand with an amazing gift and I have to remember to never take that for granted.

2. This is a season that will pass. He may not sleep through the night until he's a year old, but eventually, he will. And I know it'll go super fast because they past 2 months have FLOWN. Things have already gotten 180 million times better since the beginning. I've adapted to functioning on minimal sleep. His random smiles during bath time make it all worth it. He will become less HM and already has tremendously.

THAT BEING SAID....

We're really beside ourselves with this whole sleeping thing. He had a GREAT week last week during the day and at night. Then Friday happened. He would not sleep all day and we had a rough night. Saturday was rough and so was last night. He'll fall asleep while eating and you think he's out. But you'd be wrong. Literally the second you lay him in his crib, he wakes up and starts nuzzling his little face on the blanket and from there it's all downhill. Crying. And crying. We try to let him cry until he falls asleep but sometimes it doesn't work. For example last night we were up from 1:30-3:00 in the morning trying to get him to sleep until I finally caved and fed him. You can pretty much bet he's going to cry as soon as you put him in his crib. I feel like we're taking steps back instead of forward with this whole sleep issue. I don't even mind getting up in the middle of the night, I just wish he wouldn't cry EVERY TIME we lay him down. Let it be known I am not complaining, I simply don't understand this concept of "fighting sleep" if that's what's going on. I suppose it could be still related to the shots he got on Wednesday? Any thoughts? My skin just crawls when I hear him wailing and I PRAY he stops soon.

Also, I'm experiencing this phenomenon I like to call "the phantom cry." You know what I'm talking about. When you SWEAR you hear your child crying so you go through this big thing of taking your earplugs (what? you mean not everyone sleeps with these because your husband snores? oh ok) out and everything so you can hear and sure enough, he's definitely not crying. I went through this several times last night.

Suggestions welcome (as always) regarding our current sleep situation or lack thereof.

Keep me accountable on my new attitude change.

peace.

Copy Cat

2011-05-13T19:12:00.000-07:00

No this isn't another post about my cat so just chill out. I'm copying a portion of my bff Sarah's post from the other day because I echo her thoughts. Our children are also alien twins but that's a post for a different day. I know you creepers are out there being creeptastic on my blog so leave me your comments not just another number on my creep counter. She put it much nicer though:

Hello Readers,

I know you’re out there. Because according to my blog statistic teller-over 300 of you clicked on my blog yesterdee. Now I would really appreciate it if you would all start commenting on all of the crap I write instead of just leaving me in the dark thinking I write to like my Mom and Dana everyday. I’m going to make a conscious effort on all of the blogs that I stalk to be all commenty from now on, and maybe people will do the same in this hood. It’s like the golden rule or something. I need your comments or else I feel like I’m talking to a wall and then I probably will get bored and stop again.

Same applies to you, my readers. Leave me your comments if you're truly out there or I'm highly likely to throw in the towel on this whole blog b'ness. And I really need this hobby for when I'm home 24/7 in 3 weeks.

Also, I'd like to take a moment to point out that we laid C man in his crib while he was still awake (we RARELY do this because he's usually not having any of it. He likes to be pampered and bounced to sleep THEN laid down. Can you blame him? I'd be milking this for as long as I could too) and he didn't cry. He made a couple little noises but he's been in there sleeping for 30 minutes now. If you're sitting there rolling your eyes because you think this is lame and no big deal let me tell you this: you're lame and no big deal. No I'm kidding please comment and make me feel special.

Thank you. Sending non-creepy hugs to you all.

Oops!

2011-05-13T10:24:00.000-07:00

My mistake, I was under the impression I only birthed ONE baby, but evidently there were two. Our mentally handicapped cat, Milo, seems to think he needs to be fed and given treats (thanks for starting that habit, mom) around 4:00 in the morning. He walks around aimlessly crying like a pathetic piece of fur. When we don't respond, because WE'RE SLEEPING because OUR BABY IS SLEEPING (I know, how selfish of us), he starts to act out by kicking/pounding on closed closet doors. We put pillows in front of the hall closet but he simply uses his stupid cat paws and pushes them to the side. When we still don't respond, he kicks things up a notch by jumping up on the side table by my bed and begins knocking my things off, like my chapstick. Real mature, Milo. Sometimes I squirt him with a spray bottle which he interprets as a game. Yes, that's what I want to be doing at 4:00 in the morning. Again, mentally handicapped. Finally, one of us caves (I try to hold out the longest) and gets up to give dumby some treats (like he's starving or something. He's flipping huge). Such a drama queen.

I'm so over this cat. He needs to learn that when C sleeps, we all sleep. Can you tell I have like -5% sympathy for this cat? When a baby comes into your life, pets (probably cats more than dogs) take a backseat. In our case, he's in the trunk. Harsh? I don't care. Dude needs to learn to chill in his old age (11 years this September). I'm not into this morning song and dance. Milo needs to get ahold of himself.

Onto more important things than my obese feline. Like my much cuter child:
C slept through the night 3 nights this week. We did digress last night, though. He woke up crying at 2:30 (4 hours since last feeding) so I opted to let him cry. He stopped and slept another hour. Around 3:30 he decided he was serious this time so we got up. B fed him while I pumped. Hoping we don't go back to having a middle of the night feeding. Getting 6-7 hours of uniterupted (excuse me, it was interupted by drama queen milo but not my child. This is so screwed up) sleep was something I could get used to.
C had his 2 month shots Wednesday. Here are his current stats:

weight: 11 lbs. 7 oz. 60-something percentile

height: 24 inches 80-something percentile

head: i don't remember inches but 40-something percentile
conclusion: skinny, tall, and a small head I guess. It all works out well though because he really is the cutest boy I've ever seen.

He did ok with the shots, considering he's not very "meaty" on his little thighs yet. He got some lame-o band aids that made him feel not any better, but I gave him the teet after and he loved me again. He told the nurse to shove it, though.

Here are some photos of fatty cat I found on my computer. Enjoy, but you probably won't because my C is more fun to look at.

"I know you aren't seriously bringing a baby into my house, lady"

Also let's please take note of how I used to look like a cute preggo before I really let myself go. I was actually skinny here. Suck.Just sitting in his place of worship next to his god: food.

This was our Christmas card a couple years ago. Below is an outake I felt was worth bringing to the surface

This picture makes me laugh for a couple reasons. 1) Brent's hand on my shoulder. 2) Milo worshiping his god (turkey) during the holiday season. (Seriously, my dad had to hold turkey off to the side. You thought he'd actually behave and act like a part of the family? Silly you) I, obviously, look great. The rest of my family needs to get their act together and get hands off my shoulder.

2011-05-12T09:59:00.000-07:00

Just testing this out on my phone to see if it works. My room at school has no AC. what century is this?

Ok I'm confused....

2011-05-10T06:07:00.001-07:00

Who stole my HMN and replaced him with a LBEGN (I'll let you ponder that one for awhile...)? Seriously, it's like I don't even know my son anymore.

Yesterday he did great during the day at my parents. The evening before bed time was a little rough. He wasn't fussy, he just didn't want to sleep. So I'm all worried about how the night is going to go. He finally got to sleep (we eventually had to lay him in his crib and let him cry because he just would NOT fall asleep) and after about an hour of sleep, decided to wake him up and start the bedtime routine (bath and bottle). So he ate at 10:30, probably got to sleep around 11:15 (like I said, I never know because I run off to bed. Thank the good Lord I have such an awesome hubby, even if he does sound like a freight train at night). NUGGEY WAS STILL ASLEEP WHEN I HAD TO GET UP AT 6:00. He finally woke up around 6:30. Count those hours my friends. 8 of them. WHAT?? New record. I know, right? Whose/Who's (??) child is this?

Let me give you an example of what we're talking about here and you tell me if it's the same child:

I went to work out yesterday (I know, did you just like have a heartattack? Get over it.) and C man was due to eat at 6:30 (this was the 3 hour mark). So I get home at like 6:30 and ask B if he thought he could hold him off so I could take a shower and I would feed him from the tap (not B you sickos) and he's like yeah for sure and I'm like um really? So I hop in the shower expecting to hear angry hunger screams when I get out but I don't. Did B kill him? Nope still just chilling on B's lap watching Wheel of Fortune (shut up, it's the best game show). So I end up feeding him around 7:00 and even then he wasn't upset or crying. Does this sound like the same HMN we've been dealing with? Praying we've turned a glorious corner and the true personality of C is coming out. If he is going to be a LBEGN (get it yet? keep trying) he'll get it from his dad...I'm definitely not this (there's a hint for you).

Also last night just for poops and giggles (this is a family blog, peeps) I stuck C in his bumbo seat. It was probably a bit premature since there were a couple times I thought his head might snap off (it didn't, calm down) but he sure looked cute sitting in it. I failed to get a good shot because like I said, his little head was bobbling quite a bit, but here's one that's pretty hilar:

I KNOW. Clearly he's saying "if you keep that teet milk from me for 2 more seconds I'm going to poop all over this bumbo seat and you'll wish you never stuck me in it" but I don't care because he's SO FLIPPING CUTE. I seriously love this kid to death. And not because he gave me 8 hours of uninterupted sleep (though that is freakin' sweet) but because he's seriously the most awesome little boy I've ever met. And he's pretty good looking too.

2 very important things...with no pics. sorry in advance.

2011-05-05T09:59:00.000-07:00

Very Important Thing #1: C went another 7 hours last night (!!!!!!!!!!!!). Actually no, those exclamation points should not be contained with....whatever those things are called. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. If I would have predicted how long he would go during the night at about 7:00 last night, I would not have predicted 7 hours. I had to leave C with B while I went to the store and apparently, C wasn't such a fan of me leaving (obvi. Can you blame the child?) because he like cried the whole time and B was all fussy when I got home and I'm like hey, who's the baby here? (just kidding boo. don't worry he doesn't read my intelligent blog anyway). So then we bathe him, feed him his bottle and B said he was like asleep by the end (I wouldn't know because when the bottle process starts, I high tail it into the bed and get my snooze on before B can come barrelling in with his ridiculous snoring that really should be illegal. And yes, I sleep with earplugs but I might as well not even bother because it sounds like he's centimeters from my face. Enough about our bedroom issues though). This was at 10:15. So the next time we hear anything from the nugget, it's 5:15. IN THE MORNING. Whenever this happens (ok so like the one other time it happened) B and I both look at each other and we're like, "uhh, did that just happen? it's like, 5:00 in the morning." Kudos to you, baby nuggey. Keep up the good work and we'll keep feeding you.

Very Important Thing #2: I did not work out yesterday but you cannot slap me because I have a legit reason. B had a meeting with someone at 5:00 which went until 6:00 so I had to stay and watch the nugget (what? you think I'm going to like strap him on me with the moby wrap and head to the gym? are you on crack?). By the time he gets home, my to-do list consists of: a work out, a grocery store trip with a rather lengthy list, dinner, shower, and lots of other really legit stuff. So something had to get bumped....and you best believe I'm going to eat dinner, fools. And I can't tonight because after work B is going shopping for my mother's day gift (his words not mine) and obvi I'm going to totes let him do that. So clearly, my muffin top mission (MTM...because you know I love a good acronym) will be post-poned until next week. And seriously, no excuses. Seriously.

Mildly Important Thing: You know that saying "no use crying over spilt milk"? Ok I understand why that came about. So yesterday I'm running like crazy late for school and I'm trying to pack all my crap up, including my pumping junk, and I forget lids to my milk holder things that I pump into. So I'm all like, it's cool. I'll put some paper towels over the top, rubberband them on and stick a baggie on top (?, I don't know either). No good. I go to get my milk holder things at the end of the day from the fridge and one had fallen over, spilling my hard earned milk all over the fridge. F. You'd cry too if you sat at your desk, half nakie and freezing while a plastic cone sucked your nip until milk came out. Every. Day. That shiz is like gold.
I will never forget lids again.

That's it for today, peeps. You're welcome for taking those 5 minutes from your life you'll never get back with my not so important things that I think are very important.

hope you have a double dream hands (and feet) sort of day (you tube it, you won't regret it).

p.s. because everyone's been, like, begging me (lie. no one has actually said anything ever but i know you're thinking it) i'm going to start putting a very random, yet helpful, tip for succeeding at life at the end of every post. no need to thank me, but you're welcome.

Tip of the Post: if it looks like you're trying to pass a kidney stone while attempting to run at the speed on a leisurely walk, find a new hobby.

Giant Poisonous Satan Snake

2011-05-04T10:22:00.000-07:00

Did you know my car is actually a GPSS? That's a Giant Poisonous Satan Snake that apparently threatens the life of my child. Every time we get in the car, he acts like he's dying. He screams, and screams, and screams.
Doesn't matter if the road is bumpy, smooth. We stop. We go. I drive fast, I go through town, I take the interstate. I play the music loud. Even Bieber can't calm him anymore. And yet it's still as though my car has morphed into a GPSS. Oh but it's not just MY car...it's every car. My mom's Prius. My dad's truck. They're all GPSS's according to my son.

Which will make Saturday super fun. We're taking our first trip out of Springfield and into Edwardsville. That's about an hour and 15 minutes away. Our friend Mallory is graduating with her Master's so we're going down to celebrate with our good friends. But if I can't turn my car from a GPSS back into a regular car that like every other baby loves except my HMN, I'm probably going to run the car off the road. Just kidding of course........(I don' t think she's kidding, I should probably call someone and report her....)

Aren't cars supposed to like, calm babies or something? Oh that's right, standard baby rules do not apply here. Bless his heart. Thank goodness his crib isn't a BSSSC (Blood Sucking Scorpion Spider Cricket...duh.)

Today I decided 3 months post being preggers is too long to still look 4 months preggo so I'm hitting up the gym when B gets home today (yes, I know it hasn't been 3 months yet. I'm not stupid. But I'm determined to fit COMFORTABLY into my non-maternity pants by month 3). Also, please don't say to me "I can't even tell you had a baby!" (wow, I definitely was not going to say that). Here's what's happening, I know how to hide the muffin top. Did you really think I'd just let it all hang out? (yes). Well I wouldn't. I know which pants and tops hide it best and that is what I wear to deceive you all into thinking I'm skinny when really I am not. Ok so, I hate working out. No seriously, like HATE it. I'd rather be eaten by a GPSS or gnaw my own arm off. Now I know typically I'm a pretty dramatic person but I'm being so serious right now. I don't work out and I don't diet. It's just not in me. I sit, watch TV, and graze and I enjoy all these things. But this muffin top is starting to get a little too comfy and thinking we're all like BFF and I never agreed to that so it's time for a lifestyle change. F. But I love my cookies and Little Debs (ok, this chick is really whiny and annoying. She needs to get off the couch and stop being so huge).

The C man is still highly unpredictable. He has a fussy time in the afternoon when he's with my parents (sorry folks). But when we're home in the evening he does pretty well. Last night after a feeding he was sitting with me in the glider and he was all grunting and getting red and fussy and finally had a big wet poo (you're welcome). It's funny to me how worked up he gets about pooping. Poor guy.

I'd say the Ferber method we were doing (going in and patting him while he is crying instead of picking him up) is pretty much doing nothing. He still cries through our pats like we're idiots and so he's laughing in our face only it's not laughter its screams and sads. He averages about 5 hours of sleep after we put him down for "bed" after a bath. If we could only eliminate that one middle of the night feeding (which we did Sunday night...he slept 7 straight hours. Pinch me.) Good thing I'm a smarty and didn't get used to that. I knew it was too good to be true.

Time to go psych myself up for the gym. If I wimp out and don't go I officially give you permission to slap me in the face next time you see me.

xoxo,

iwishthismuffintoptastedlikeamuffiefrompanera.

Also, because I know you don't come here to read my words but rather to stare at pictures of my cute child (creeps) I will fulfill your wants (in a non creepy way):

Check out that awesome hair.

Pretty sure this was post-poop

if this doesn't make you love life...

2011-04-29T19:35:00.000-07:00

...I don't know what will:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5L1tr0PIx20

This is actually the first part:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1qTY73Ruq_E&NR=1

I mean this guy LOVES his LIFE. All I can do is pray that Caden doesn't turn out like mr. double dream hands.

Rubber legs.

warning: this post is a hodgepodge of pure crap. and yes i just said hodgepodge.

2011-04-29T18:33:00.000-07:00

1. Completed my first week as a working mom. It sucked and I hated leaving him every morning, but I so love the drive to my parents in the afternoon to pick him up. Working and making money is overrated...which brings me to number 2...

2. I officially resigned from teaching today. I won't be going back next year and I'm so looking forward to being a stay at home mom (SAHM. Which could also stand for Sometimes Amy Hits Me and might be something B would say. But probably not. Don't call the cops on me. Or do, and my brother would show up and it would be pretty awkward, especially at the next family get together...what is she talking about? is she even awake as she's typing this?)

3. I think I'm asleep while typing this. This week has been so exhausting. I honestly don't know how women work full time and raise children. They deserve some like crazy super human being award or something.

4. Nuggy has been enjoying sleep more and we're enjoying life more.

5. I started reading "Happiest Baby on the Block" (seriously, idiot? you bought into another gimmick? why don't you just throw your money directly into your son's poopy diapers that reside in the diaper genie?) It seems legit so far and has some educational points. We're currently doing a little mix of Dr. Ferber + Dr. Karp (who wrote happiest baby). This child will probably turn out so incredibly screwed up. He'll be like a cubs fan (burn) and just completely hate life and hate me for being so indecisive and not just picking a way to raise him. He'll be like 16 and I'm still reading different theories by different baby doctors..."it's ok son, i think i've got it figured out now." Poor kid.

6. Also, when I do the italic words it's like I'm saying what you all as the readers would be saying but I'm just saying it for you. My friend Egypt always did this in college only he would verbally say it. It was both annoying and contagious and now I do it. So you're welcome and enjoy.

I think that's all for now. Nuggy still rocks and is still the cutest baby like ever. Oh and he's 8 weeks. That doesn't even seem possible as I type it.

(this was the dumbest post she's ever written. I can't believe I wasted my time reading it. What was even the point?)

my child hates sleep and i hate tomorrow

2011-04-24T11:05:00.000-07:00

If nugget didn't look exactly like B and I and if I weren't 100% sure he's my child, I'd think he wasn't my child (what? that didn't make any sense? i don't really care). He's been sleeping great at night. When we put him down for the night he usually does a 5 hour stretch and then a 3 or 4 hour stretch so we've been feeling like the greatest parents in the world. Until last night. During the day he's not such a fan of sleep. There have been many "crying it out" episodes lately but he always falls back asleep. Until yesterday. We were over at my parents most of the day with my brothers and their kids for Easter. Maybe he was overstimulated, I don't know, but he didn't nap well while we were over there and he definitely did not sleep well last night. No 5 hour stretch. He'd wake up after an hour, we'd bounce him, he'd fall back asleep. For another hour. I don't know what the deal is but this is not our offspring. Both B and I love our sleep. I love to sleep until my body naturally wakes itself up. B could (and probably has) sleep for 24 hours straight. So what has happened to our great little nugget sleeper? An off day?Already rebelling from his mom and dad? He senses I'm leaving him tomorrow and already misses me?

Speaking of tomorrow, I go back to work tomorrow which means I hate tomorrow and as much as I want to enjoy Easter today, the horribleness that is tomorrow keeps looming over my head. I have 25 days before summer and yes, my mom is watching the little nugget which is awesome and great but this still all sucks. I've so enjoyed hanging out with him all day for the past 7 weeks and I really can't imagine hanging out with high schoolers all day instead. I'll miss all his spitting up and blow outs and how content he is to just lay on his changing table after he wakes up. His smiles are the best when he's laying there. I'll miss watching the price is right every morning while he sleeps on my chest in the glider...Ok I have to stop, I'm already crying and it's only 2:30 on Sunday. By far, these 25 days will be the hardest of my life, with tomorrow being the absolute worst. Everyone says it will get easier but I'll be honest, I don't want it to get easier. I never want it to be easy for me to leave my baby all day. I always want to have this awful feeling in my stomach because it reminds me why he has been placed in my life temporarily until God wants him back: to be the best flipping mom I can be to him. To love him unconditionally and show him God's love. The kind of love that sent His son to die on the cross for us. The kind of love that covers all our sin (did you like that connection back to Easter? Thanks.)

Tonight and tomorrow will be excruciating but I'll get through it. And 3:30 Monday through Friday will be the greatest time in the world.

Here are some shots taken from this lovely Easter weekend. So thankful we got to spend it relaxing here with family. Enjoy. Think sleepy thoughts for us!

would you want to leave this little face? didn't think so.

meh, i'm over it.

2011-04-21T11:11:00.000-07:00

C isn't such a fan of tummy time. he doesn't hate it, but he'd rather be doing other more fun things...like eating...or farting (a new activity he does frequently).

here was our tummy time today:

seriously mom?

ok, i did it. now give me some boob time.

this is what i think of your stupid tummy time.

beer thirty

2011-04-18T08:11:00.000-07:00

Ok 2 things about beer:

1. I want one. Since I'm breastfeeding I don't really know the rule on the whole drinking alcohol thing. I'd hate to have a beer and then get my son drunk later that night (unless it would help him sleep through the night....just kidding....sort of). However it's going to be a long summer if I can't have a glass of red wine when we grill out on the back deck. Or a bud light when playing bags in the yard. My goal for the week is to figure out what is acceptable regarding this issue. (moms who have been here before, tell me your thoughts please).

2. I have a beer gut. And if you read number 1, you'll remember it's not from beer. It's what's left of the baby weight and it seems to be hanging on for dear life and I am NOT ok with it. It doesn't look so bad when I'm wearing yoga pants, but put on a pair of jeans and hello muffin top. It's pretty nauseating. Within the first 3 weeks the bulk of the weight was gone thanks in large part to the breastfeeding. Now I'm thinking I'm actually going to have to work to get the rest of this off. That sucks. So FitClub, here I come, because I have lots of cute summer clothes that do not pair well with muffin tops and I'm so not about to buy bigger clothes. Not happening.

Let's take a look at what we're dealing with here.

This is the last bump pic I took at 38 weeks. That's a long way for skin to stretch. Let's remember I did not birth a small 6 pounder, peeps. He was 8 pounds 6 ounces.

This is a picture before I was preggo. I'm not claiming to be skinny, I definitely was not, but please note: no muffin top. This is what my goal is.Here's to hoping this summer is full of red wine and a skinny waistline.

Well this sucks.

2011-04-17T16:47:00.000-07:00

On Saturday, B and C spent some quality time together in bed (no, B is not really asleep). This might be my most favorite picture so far.

I know you've all been waiting on like pins and needles for my next post and I apologize for keeping you all in suspense. To be honest things have been fairly low key around this hood lately...until this morning.

First let me address what's been going on with the nugget. I believe he's going through yet another growth spurt. He's 6 weeks today and I've read it's a common age for another spurt. During the day we're lucky to get 2.5 hours between feedings (we were easily going 3) and at night we're about 3 hours (maybe 4....there have been times he's going 5.5 or 6 hours between feedings). So we're back to being tired to the extreme and feeling like zombies.

So this morning I wake up at 8:00 when he was crying which was great timing for getting him fed and ready for the 9:00 church service. Immediately I feel really weird when waking up. So B says he'll take C for awhile so I can get myself ready and I'm getting as ready as I can but I start feeling really weak and notice my right breast hurts pretty bad. I start feeding C a bottle while B gets ready and I'm like shaking uncontrollably. I've got a hoodie on and a blanket but I'm still shaking. My finger nails are like purple. But here's the weird thing: no fever. So I tell B I can't go to church because I feel like I'm dying. He finishes burping C and puts him down and I crawl into bed with layers on and lots of blankets (I even had socks on which is like the worst feeling ever when sleeping). I'm still shaking and my fingers are all tingly like when you've been out in the cold for too long. Finally I can settle down and fall asleep. When I woke up I wasn't shaking (I was hot because of my thousand of layers) but I was real sore and achy. So I'm thinking I've got the flu or at least the start of it. But then I remember that dumb right breast is still hurting. Upon further research and reading, I realize it's most likely I have a breast infection. Suck. So with an infection you have all the flu-like symptoms which I've been experiencing all day...PLUS a super sore boob. What do you do for a boob infection? Keep breastfeeding/emptying out the infected boob and pray it gets better real quick. The flu is never fun, but it's especially not fun when you pair it with a sore ta ta. Oh, and forget stomach sleeping with an infection. Not happening.

Meh. No one ever said breastfeeding is easy and it's definitely not. But I will press on. Through the infection and through my growth spurting nugget.

Also, people never tell you about newborn blowouts and what that all entails. It's pretty nast. And it's a given we will be spraying his clothes with some stain remover crap if we're lucky and not having to throw the clothes away when one of these evil blowouts happen. And if you don't act quickly, it will soak through onto you as well. And it's acid yellow. And smells like a poop factory. Good thing I love this kid like alot alot.

Are you putty? Because this face makes me putty.

HALLELUJAH

2011-04-12T06:51:00.000-07:00

Folks, things are looking up. Let me explain a few things that have been working to control our HMN. Of course, these things are working right NOW and may or may not work tomorrow or even later today. The newborn is a highly unpredictable and fickle creature (but ours sure is cute).

1. Moby wrap. It's turned my doubting husband into a believer. Last night nuggey was all hot and bothered and not having whatever it was we were doing...oh trying to go for a walk. He didn't want to be buckled into his seat. So he's all screaming bloody murder and I'm sure our neighbors think we're sacrificing babies over here. I suit up in my ninja gear and Brent's all giving me the judgement look like "you're crazy this ninja wrap won't work" and I stick the screaming nugget in it and like instantly he's quiet and then another instantly and he's asleep and we're all like whoaaa. Even Brent said "that thing is amazing" Yes, yes it is.

2. Gripe water + Zantac. I have no clue if this stuff is working but I like to think the combo is helping. He's been on the Z for a week today and it definitely seems to help. He doesn't scream as though he's writhing in pain anymore which is a huge relief. We've done a couple rounds of the gripe water and he seems even calmer since then. Again, who knows what later today and tonight will bring but it seems to be working for now.

3. And here's where the real magic happens. We've been letting him cry himself to sleep. Now before you get all psycho judgmental call DCFS on me because he's only 5 weeks old let me explain. Yesterday morning I was pumping and he starts crying but it's like right in the middle of feedings so I'm pretty sure he's not hungry and I've got to keep pumping so I let him cry for about 10 or 15 minutes and he finally stopped and went back to sleep. FOR TWO HOURS. So I'm thinking, hey that was pretty awesome. So last night he ate at 10:15 and we were going to do the bath routine at his next feeding in hopes of him sleeping until morning. So he eats like normal and we go to lay him down at like 10:50 and I tell B to just let him cry until 11:00 then we'll get him. He's asleep before 11:00. We go to sleep and sometime later I get nudged by B that C is awake and I'm all like what time is it and I look and it's 4:00! No need for a bath. So we feed him again and put him back to sleep at like 4:50 and he cried for 7 minutes and he's asleep. He wakes up at 8:00 and I fed him and put him down and he cried for 3 minutes and he's still asleep. Yes it's hard. Especially knowing he's probably just crying because he wants to be held and that makes me sad. But dude is falling asleep on his own and it's wonderful. Much quicker than the song and dance we used to do when we'd get him out, bounce him on the ball until he fell back asleep, held our breath as we laid him back in the crib, patted his back and tip toed out of the room and held our breath some more to make sure he was really asleep.

So there are the 3 things that seem to be working for us (at the moment). Check back later to see if all those things have gone down the crapper because they don't work anymore!!

samari ninja

2011-04-10T15:59:00.000-07:00

If it claims to make fussy babies not fussy, I've either bought it or seriously considered buying it. Case in point: (or case and point? I don't know, anyway...)

1. gas drops

2. nap nanny (which is still sitting in our home waiting to be sent back)

3. gripe water (it's been ordered, i'm waiting for it to arrive)

4. zantac

5. balboa baby sling

6. moby wrap

I'm sure there's something I'm leaving out but I can't think. Because HMN sucks all my thinking juice out when he eats from the tap.

The latest have been the slings. First, the balboa. This works fairly well though he still seems a little small and it's difficult finding a position that keeps his head supported. He slept all through church in said sling this morning though so no complaints there! (Of course he turned into HMN shortly after the service was over when everyone wanted to see him. Lovely.) Oh, let's not forget about the episode that ensued on our way to church. Blow-out of the century. I was getting him out of his carseat and into balboa to go into church when I noticed his clothes were poopy and I thought, oh sucky I need hit up the restroom and change him. Good thing I brought a change of clothes. Oh, that's only the half of it. It was all over his car seat...ALL OVER. All over the car seat base. All over the SEAT of the car. Bright yellow acid poop. Awesome.

Anyway, we first attempted the famous moby wrap yesterday, you know when it was 80 degrees and we were all sweating and C was screaming. Sure that seems like a good idea to shove him into a samari sling. No. Fail. But today I was determined. So many have said this thing is like a snake charmer and works magic tricks on high maintenance babies like our nuggey. So I tried again. IT WORKED. Of course my timing was a little off. I had him in about 30 minutes before it was time to feed but I got to sit on the deck and read for 30 minutes while he snoozed away like a baby kangaroo. Then after feeding we tried again. And he's been in since. Even as I write this he's sleeping away in the samari wrap, oblivious to the fact that he and I are both sweating. I feel like a real samari warrior because I conquered the moby.

In other news, he went 5.5 hours between a feeding last night (from 9p.m. to 2:30a.m.), of course he didn't get to sleep until about 10:30 but that's still a great amount of sleep for us. We started giving him a bath after his feeding so make him relaxed and sleepy. So far so good. Who knows what tonight will bring! If I have to, I'll let him sleep in the samari sling.

Here are some pics of our sling adventures:

I make a pretty fierce samari ninja, no?

The balboa

hugs and kisses from a sweaty samari.

and this is what makes the fussy moments tolerable (well, this and lots of prayer)

2011-04-08T07:55:00.000-07:00

Poor guy is still fighting some baby acne. We attempt to put Aquaphor on but he just rubs it off :(

Does it just melt your heart??

Such a sweet little nuggey

correction

2011-04-07T08:45:00.001-07:00

In my last post, I said he doesn't go longer than 3 hours between feedings. Check out our schedule from last night:

6:00 p.m.: 3 ounce bottle

6:45: bath

7:30: asleep in crib

11:40: woke up

ARE YOU SEEING THE TIMES HERE??

Let's keep going..

12:15: back to sleep

3:40: 3 ounce bottle

5:00: back to sleep (yeah, it was a little rough getting him to sleep this time)

8:15: awake

Holy cow peeps, that's a long time between feedings. Now, maybe we should have woke up him up according to the crazy "baby wise" yahoos. But I just couldn't bring myself to do it.

Speaking of "baby wise" I've been reading up when I get the chance. Sounds legit. Here's where we would struggle. They say to just lay them down for naptime or bedtime at night without rocking or bouncing or anything of the like. Yeeeahhh, that's not going to happen with our HMN. He's not going to just lay there awake and then fall asleep on his own. He makes it pretty clear he's not having any of that. Another area I don't see happening: after you feed them during the day you're supposed to have "waketime." Currently, his waketime is fusstime. I don't encourage this to continue for long. We try to stop it. Here is a quote from the book that I'm struggling with:

"If you want a fussy baby, never let him cry, and hold, rock, and feed him as soon as he starts to fuss. We guarantee that you will achieve your goal."

Poop. We do all that. But hello, this morning he was fussing in his crib and it sounded like pain fussing so I got him out, bounced him and he had several burps to get out. Obvi he needed some help getting those out. What's a mom to do? I've about had it with these baby wise peeps. Sorry friends who swear by it. I just don't know if it's in the cards for us...Thoughts? Please share. Also on it's way, some gripe water. I ordered it yesterday (sure they may carry it at CVS or another pharmacy but let's face it, I'm all about ordering online if possible). The Zantac seems to be helping a little. Hard to tell but he hasn't been spitting up like at all.

OH also, yesterday at my mommy and me group he ate on the boob for 15 minutes and they weighed him after to see how much he got. 5 ounces. 5 ounces!! That's like, a crazy lot amount. Good job, boobs. And good job nugget. Though I think that may have been a bit extreme. We are upping the ounces in the bottles we give him from 2.5 oz to 3 oz. Ok I'm done now.

Wait, what??

2011-04-06T18:03:00.000-07:00

Did I seriously pop a child out a month ago?? Evidently this is true. Everyone warned me how fast it would go but dang peeps, they weren't joking. Here are some stats about our (not so) little one-monther:

*he weighs in at 10 pounds 4 ounces

*he currently has a bit of baby acne going on :(

*he's been "diagnosed" with reflux and prescribed some baby Zantac that we started yesterday

*sometimes the amount of poop in his diaper is equivalent to that of an elephant's poo

*he just started smiling at me and it melts my heart

*his hair is out of control and I love it

*he doesn't go longer than 3 hours between feedings at night or during the day

*he has a crazy strong neck

*he's got the cutest rolls on his thighs and arms

*I literally can't imagine loving him any more than I do. my heart is so full

Happy one month of life, little nugget. I truly cannot imagine our lives without you!!

when God gives you a high maintenance baby...

2011-04-03T14:25:00.000-07:00

...you spend hours in prayer and hundreds of dollars in "things" that claim to work with fussy babies.

here's a secret...they don't work.

Exhibit A:

Nap Nanny

Yes my friends, I put ALOT of hope in this giant piece of foam. But wouldn't you if your read reviews like these?:

I can't even begin to tell how this was the best thing I ever purchased in my whole life!! My son would sleep and hour or two at a time and at 6 weeks old I purchased this because someone recommended it helped with gas and colic. The first night he slept on it he slept 8 hours straight! I thought it was just coinincidence but slept every night 8-10 hours since then! Best product ever! Its a definite must have for every

mother!!!!

– Kristen

No Kristen, I do not believe you for one second.

My two month old would wake up every 2 hours, then every hour, sometimes every half hour. I was exhausted! Then I bought the Nap Nanny and he slept for a long time! It was the best I have slept in a while!

– Laurie Rivesman

Laurie lies.

I have a huge suspicion that a bunch of people from the Nap Nanny company got together on a Saturday with a tank of wine and decided to write a bunch of BS testimonials from "customers" to make like a million dollars. A baby who hates sleeping on his back (such as my baby) will not magically sleep on his back now that he's at a 30 degree incline. I probably should have realized this before dropping $130 on this ridiculous joke, but alas, I am a sleep deprived mother of a 4 week old who hates sleep and hates things that aren't human arms bouncing continuously or a boob with milk.

Ok that's really the only exhibit of something that didn't work. We did purchase the angel care monitor this weekend that senses when your baby stops breathing because if he insists on being high maintenance and rebelling against the Academy of Pediatrics, then I need some peace of mind while he sleeps face down. That has actually been a good purchase. Last night was our first night with it. He slept in his big crib and was up every 3 hours (a nice change from every 2 we've been dealing with). With the exception of the hours between 4:30 a.m. and 6:30 a.m. when he decided laying down was not on the agenda but being held and bounced/rocked was. Excellent.

At the moment, he is restlessly rocking in his swing. Today, this hour, it's working. In 2 hours, he'll hate it and think it's poisonous. It's approaching the 2 hour mark since last feeding and I got in about 30 minutes of a nap. I'm really beside myself with this child. We rock, we bounce, we swaddle, we swing, we nap nannied. He still fusses. Every morning (actually like every couple hours because morning means nothing to me anymore) I wake up and expect things to "be better" as everyone insists it will get. We're at 4 weeks today and things are certainly not better. I need this kid to sleep. I need to sleep. I only have 3 weeks left before I go back to school and I dread having to leave my mom with HMN (high maintenance nugget) all day. Several people have suggested I read the book "Baby Wise" or some other books, and while I'd love to because I'm sure it has some great ideas, I HAVE NO TIME. I look like a hot mess and most definitely smell like a hot mess.

And now I will leave you with a couple pictures.

Looks content right? And he was. But this is why we have a boppy.

And this is just because I never put up pictures of our other child. What a loser.

this is a post where i'm positive about life

2011-03-30T18:20:00.000-07:00

First, let me thank you all for your advice and suggestions on the last post. You all rock and I'm glad you came to my rescue :)

Second, sorry I've been such a Debbie Downer lately. It's a mix of lack of sleep, hormones, Brent going back to work, etc. But really, life is good. And now I will tell you about it.

I love being a mom. Our nugget rocks and I can't imagine him being any different (ok maybe a little happier at times....but that's besides the point).. We had a really great day today. He didn't fuss much at all, slept great between feedings and was awake for awhile without crying. He did have to get a bath after a crazy blowout that resulted in throwing an outfit away. This is my life. And I love it. I love all his crazy hair that I just don't even know what to do with. I love his rolls on his legs and arms. I love all 9 pounds, 13 ounces of him. Yes, 9 pounds 13 ounces. Last week, he weighed 9 pounds, 1 ounce. That's alot of milk.

Brent started his new job Monday at Horace Mann. He loves it. I love that he finally loves his job. I can't imagine him still at his old job working until 10:00 every night and getting little sleep and doing it all again the next day. Or traveling as much as he was. I can't even begin to describe to you what an amazing blessing this job has been for us. It's only been three days but the work environment is completely different. Not to mention he's home by 4:30 every day. Hallelujah. God is good, am I right?

Sure it's easy to be thankful for everything after a great day like today, but I really am thankful every day. I'm so thankful for a healthy boy that's gaining (lots) of weight. Not to mention he's pretty flipping cute. And he's now starting his squeal which means it's time to eat and time for me to turn into a milk cow as I pump it out.

I'll leave you with some cute pics of our tanker:

this is the post where i beg for helpful motherly advice.

2011-03-29T11:26:00.000-07:00

As my lovely mother sits on the bouncy ball with my fussy son (on her birthday, nonetheless), I am sitting here writing this post. Priorities.

It has recently come in my attention that little nugget is like his mother in that his favorite sleep position is his belly. We discovered this last week when the only way he could sleep was laying on his chest on top of my chest. All. Night. Long. After one night of this I realized we needed to find an alternative because I can't handle laying in one position all

night. Not happening. So I did the unthinkable. The big no-no. I laid him on his belly in his pack n' play. Gasp. Here's the kicker: he loved it. Best he's slept in a long time. Like, since the womb. So judge all you want nurses, doctors, moms, and creepers out there, this babe is sleeping on his belly.

Here's my theory on which sleep position is best: it's all bogus. Everyone from my generation was placed on their bellies to sleep. And how did we turn out? Actually, the "how" is irrelevant. What's important is that we turned out. We did not die. And have babies changed since then? No. So that is how I justify laying him tummy down. Also the fact that when he sleeps, I'm able to sleep. And that means a much happier mommy (and daddy).

I recently purchased this item as well. Will it help? That's anybody's guess but I'm willing to try anything at this point.

On a more serious note, I had a breakdown today. It's official, I have a fussy nugget. I've been talking to people and reading things all day trying to figure out if it's the "C" word (I don't want to say it or type it...it terrifies me). When not eating or sleeping, he is generally fussing. I say fussing and not screaming/crying because usually it's just a little fuss until you start bouncing him or walking around with him and he settles down (though sometimes it does turn into a serious cry). I don't know if this qualifies as "C", but it's definitely frustrating and I tend to think I can't do it which then leads to thoughts of being a horrible mother because I have to call my mother to come help me. He cries = I cry. I'm calling his doctor tomorrow to see about getting him an appointment. Buuuuhhh. Such a guessing game. Again, this parenting stuff, hard flipping work.

If any moms out there have suggestions or thoughts on whether it could be "C" (or anything else that has a solution) please let me know. I welcome any help I can get. Here is what typically goes down during the day:

1. Nugget eats

2. He burps

3. He sleeps (maybe) for a little bit

4. He wakes up crying

5. It's not time for another feeding yet

6. He continues crying/fussing until you start vigorously bouncing on the exercise ball or walking around the

house bouncing him in your arms while loudly "shh-ing" in his ear

7. This generally will last about 15-20 mins. until he falls asleep again for a brief period of time

Ok...bring on the suggestions.

Here's to hoping your evenings and days are more relaxing than ours. And please don't bother telling me "it will get better, I promise!" because I've been told this like a trillion times each day. I get it. It gets better. But it's not better now so help me.

Thank you.

And here is a picture of a rare moment when he

was neither sleeping or fussing but laying content with his cousins around him:

Exhausted.

2011-03-24T13:43:00.000-07:00

This is the post where I tell you about how parenting is not all roses and rainbows and sprinkles.

Peeps, this stuff is hard. Like really hard.

Yes my baby rocks and I love him to death. I'd do anything for him. And I do. Like hook my hooters up to plastic cones and pump milk out of them like a flipping dairy cow.

Let's discuss pumping for a moment.

It's for the birds.

It's slow going but I feel like I have to keep trying to build up a supply if I ever want a break from the madness that is breastfeeding.

Let's discuss breastfeeding for a moment.

Also for the birds. And my son.

At the mommy and me group yesterday they weighed him. 9 pounds 1 ounce. I didn't have to have him weighed to know he's becoming a chunker (double chin, rolls on his arms and legs). He definitely loves my milk.

Benefit of breastfeeding: losing weight without trying. Like literally. Not trying. Yes there's effort to breastfeeding, trust me it ain't easy, but it's alot easier than going to the gym and sweating.

Now let's discuss the amount of exhaustion. Whoa. High level of exhaustion. As in I wake up sometimes at night and think he's feeding on my boob and he's asleep in the pack n' play. Or I tell Brent to be quiet with the snoring because Caden is feeding...and he's not. I know, crazy lady alert. But this is what short nap after short nap will do to you. It also doesn't help that I'm neglecting myself. Before you start lecturing me, let me say I'm trying. But it's hard. I don't sleep or rest (much) during the day when he sleeps. I don't eat well (I'm working on this). I cry. A lot. Mostly at the thought of returning to work. It literally makes me want to puke.

It's time to go. It's been exactly 2 hours and little man is all hot and bothered because he woke up and realized there's not a boob in his mouth. We don't like to anger the little nugget.

Things I've learned in 2 Weeks

2011-03-22T17:35:00.000-07:00

Now that I've had over two weeks to hang out and get to know our little guy, here are some things I've learned about him:

1. he loves the boob

2. he has some awesome hair

3. he has recently started doing a little piglet squeal before he really gets crying. It's pretty adorable

4. not so fond of the bouncy seat that vibrates

5. he eats like a champ

6. he has his dad's toes

7. he looks good in any color

8. he's already got his dad wrapped around his tiny finger

9. the one thing that is sure to settle him down instantly: bouncing on a medicine ball

10. he sleeps best in his car seat at night

Brent and I finally got to go out for a date. It was a lunch date but we'll take it. We were out for about two hours and as we were heading home, I started crying because I missed him so much. Then I started crying because I realized how difficult this will be when I have to be gone all day. Seriously, even during his fussy times, this kid rocks. He makes being a mom easy and enjoyable. He's also starting to get little rolls on his arms and I'm so looking forward to having a little chunky monkey.

I've started trying to pump to give my teets a break. This is not an easy task but I'm trying to be patient and continue on. I'm thankful for my dear friend Sarah who is going through the same things with little Helen. I don't know what I'd do without our daily texts/phone calls to update on the "joys" of breastfeeding :)

That's all for now, time to try pumping again. Oh what my life has become!

The hardest thing I've ever done...

2011-03-19T07:42:00.000-07:00

If you think I'm going to say it was giving birth, you would be wrong. That was like child's play compared to this...

Breastfeeding.

I knew it wouldn't be a walk in the park. I'd heard all kinds of horror stories about cracked, bloody nips and yes, it terrified me. But I knew this is what I wanted to do for baby (and me) so alas, we trudge onward.

Yesterday was the closest I came to wanting to throw in the towel and go the formula route. Evidently Caden is going through a 2 week growth spurt aka all he wants is the boob. Two nights ago he was going 4 hours in between feedings. It was heaven on earth. Yesterday during the day was a completely different story. We're talking every 2 hours, sometimes less than that. I felt like all I did yesterday was feed and it was exhausting. He also hardly slept AT ALL during the day. I was extremely fearful going into last night. I tend to fear the night these days because you never know what you're going to get. I can only explain last night as a miracle and the result of lots of prayers. He went 4 hours again between feedings. That makes getting through the day much more bearable.

Breastfeeding isn't horrible. Caden is doing everything right on his end. He latches perfect, he's gaining weight, he poops and pees well. But dang, there is definite pain at times and as someone who has pretty intense restless legs, sitting and feeding for up to 40 minutes really takes a toll on you. It ain't easy but this is why I keep on keepin' on:

Love this little guy more than I ever thought possible and I know the boob is best for him so I fight through the pain when he latches on and the restlessness during long feedings. Because seriously, even on fussy days like yesterday, we're so incredibly blessed by the sweetest little guy in the world. And I can't believe it's been 2 weeks since he decided to bless our lives. Love you Caden Levi!

P.S. If you're planning on breastfeeding, you can never have too many tubes of lanolin. Keep one in every room, the diaper bag, car, wherever. I've also recently discovered gel pads that are soothing to the nips. Check it out.

Also, know this (because evidently I forgot and my wonderful sister in law reminded me): babies have fussy days. Just like us. Profound, I know but for some reason, I never think of this. I'm hopeful yesterday was just a fussy day (similar to the way I was the last like 30 days of my pregnancy). It could also have had something to do with the mocha I drank yesterday. Oops. I'll just stick with diet coke for awhile.

Nursery Tour

2011-03-17T09:19:00.000-07:00

It occurred to me the other day I never took shots of the "final" nursery. So, for your viewing pleasure, Caden's room:A somewhat "ariel" view, if you will, of the room

His crib +letters. Someday he'll enjoy sleeping here :)

The letters I ended up making. Glad I went this route instead of buying them on etsy.

The glider corner. So wonderful and comfy.

Changing table/dresser

Storage shelf full of books thanks to our awesome friends and family and some other random items. Still not entirely sure what to put on the shelves on the wall.

So there it is. Little man's room. The only time we really spend in here is for diaper changes (which is quite frequently). Hopefully someday he'll sit on the fuzzy rug and play with toys and read some great books :)

My tips after being a mom for a week

2011-03-13T09:31:00.000-07:00

To my friends who are about to have babies, here about a couple things I've learned this first week:

1. Don't worry about all the cutesy newborn clothes. They're a pain in the butt in the middle of the night. Stock up on gowns. They rock because there are no buttons, snaps or zippers. VERY easy. We've gone out and bought more since he's been born.

2. Swaddlers. Also heavenly. Especially if you're baby has crazy strong arms and likes to whip them around, such as our baby. His arms are ALWAYS up by his face and this gets a bit annoying when trying to feed and when he's trying to sleep. We always swaddle.

3. Try putting them in their car seat to sleep. He was spitting up alot and a nurse said he needed to be upright for at least 30 minutes if not an hour after each feeding. Yeah, when you're already only getting about 2 hours in between feedings, I wasn't about to be up for another hour just holding him upright. The car seat is a perfect incline and it's nice and snug for him. So we put the car seat inside the pack n play next to the bed during the night and he sleeps there. Trust me, you'll do whatever works at 3:00 a.m.

4. Don't be afraid to introduce a pacifier. I was torn due to "nipple confusion" and because they can suck differently on a pacifier than on your nip and it can hurt. We threw our reservations out the window the second day in the hospital when we realized this kid loves to suck. He was sucking on our fingers in between feedings and that was getting OLD. So instead of sticking people's fingers in his mouth all day long, we decided it was time for a pacifier. And I'm so glad we did.

5. Have some of favorite shows DVR'ed or DVD's in the player for when you're up at night feeding and need something to do. Brent and I have watching several episodes of Friends in the middle of the night and it actually makes being up at 2:00 a.m. more enjoyable.

6. Even if you're not cloth diapering, invest in lots of cloth diapers. They're great for burping, putting under their butts on the changing pad to protect the cover, wiping things off their face. We have multiple diapers in each room and they're wonderful.

7. Give your baby too many kisses. He's already a week old and I can hardly remember being in the hospital. It really does fly by and as much as I despise being up every couple hours, I love how snuggly he is and precious. So stare at them, take pics, and love on them. You can't do it enough!

That's all for now. Go forth and birth your babies, friends!! Caden needs a future wife/BFF :)

After birth (not the gross stuff that comes out of the body after baby)

2011-03-11T10:00:00.000-08:00

Now that you know how sweet baby Caden entered our world, I'll let you know how our lives have drastically changed. For the better.

We stayed in the hospital until Tuesday, though we could have left Monday. I really wanted to leave Monday because I felt like I was going insane in the small hospital room. Brent wanted us to stay and take advantage of another night with help. I'm very glad we stayed the extra day.

The first week sort of all blurred together. He eats every 3 hours so at night we average about 2 hours of sleep between feedings. We've been so blessed with a "good" baby. He really only cries when he's hungry and when we change his diaper (especially when he pees/poops through his outfit and we have to take the whole thing off...which happens nightly)

Recovery for me has gone really well, a week later I'm feeling about 90%.

Breastfeeding has definitely been the biggest challenge of this whole journey. He's doing well, latching on pretty quickly. It's just tough to get the hang of and there is quite a bit of pain involved. We went to the doctor for his first appt. on Friday and since Wednesday he had gained 4 ounces so he's up to 8lbs. 4 oz. which is great. He has a little bit of jaundice but nothing to worry about. We have to get him some direct sunlight whenever possible (unfortunately its been difficult lately as its been chilly and NOT sunny).

Brent has been the best husband and dad in the world. I think he's changed more diapers than me, he's up with me for every feeding, is super supportive, and most importantly, loves Caden more than I ever thought possible. It's the most amazing things to watch. I feel so blessed.

We're adjusting to life with baby but I can't imagine life without Caden. He's so awesome (not to mention pretty dang cute).

A really long and overly wordy description of the birth story.

2011-03-07T15:08:00.000-08:00

Well I'm sure you've heard the news: Baby Wood, now known by his REAL name: Caden Levi, entered our world early Sunday morning. So as I'm sure you're all dying to know, the following are the details on what all went down leading up to his grand entrance:

We were set to be induced on Tuesday so Saturday Brent got up and starting cleaning the house while I met a couple girlfriends for lunch and then hit up the grocery store for a final trip of goodies. All day I was having contractions, but they were really mild and pretty spaced apart. I downloaded a couple contraction tracker apps for my phone so I can time them just in case. As the day went on, they got a little stronger but I still thought nothing would be happening that night. We had planned Saturday night to be our "final date night" out to Olive Garden so I started getting my shower around 7:00. While in the shower my water started breaking (I didn't know this at the time), nothing extreme like a geyser, just a slow trickle. I still didn't know what was happening so I proceeded to get ready for date night. While Brent was getting his shower my contractions started coming way stronger and closer together. B thought I should call the after hours number for the doctor, I, being stubborn, said no it was fine we WILL go on this final date. A couple minutes later I said, "ok we need to go to the hospital" and thank goodness I said that when I did because things moved real quick after that.

We rushed around the house packing bags (of course I hadn't done this ahead of time, I had until Tuesday!) while I tried to not die with each contraction. Now hear this: yes I can be dramatic when it comes to pain. Very dramatic. But contractions are like nothing anyone could have prepared me for. I kept hearing "menstrual cramps x10" which is true, but you really don't know what the feels like until you're feeling it. And it sucks. The drive to the hospital was the longest ever, even though it was like 10 minutes. Once we got there B dropped me off to register and check in (thankfully we had pre-registered, though it didn't seem to matter to the girl behind the counter who must have just started working there that night. She was slow, to say the least). While sitting in a wheel chair waiting to birth this baby my water officially "broke" and I knew it was urgent to get upstairs STAT.

Once we got all set up in a room they checked me and I was 3 cm. No biggie. I was asking when the h I'd be getting my epidural and they said they needed to make sure I was officially "in labor." Ok let me tell you: I AM OFFICIALLY IN LABOR. GIVE ME THE EPIDURAL. I had to get a whole bag of IV fluid into me before I could get the magic happy shot which seemed like an eternity. This is when nice nurse #1 enters the picture. Sue. "Sue rocks" was one of my famous quotes post epidural. I'll share more later. FINALLY it was time for magic happy shot and I didn't even have time to be nervous about a massive needle in my back, I just knew I wanted it like now. It was tough because he'd be working on the epidural and I'd have a contraction so we'd have to wait. I was super paranoid because dumb me watches shows like "one born every minute" where women get epidurals and they only take on one side of their body. I just KNEW that would be me. Especially when my left side was numb and right was not. I kept freaking out and Sue kept reassuring me. Bless her. At this point, about 2 hours in, I believe I was dilated 5 or 7 cm, I don't remember but things were moving quickly. It was also around now the magic happy shot made me feel real good and real loopy. I said things like: "this epidural is freakin' awesome" and "I could do this all day" and when a med student had come in earlier to introduce himself and see how things were going in the middle of a hideous contraction PRE magic happy shot I was less than friendly so when Jason came back post m.h. shot I kept apologizing for earlier. B and my parents were in the room along with Sue and they were really enjoying my m.h. shot as well.

Ok I could ramble about crap for hours but let's get to business.

Around 1:30 a.m. I was completely dilated and ready for action. New nice nurse Lindsey and a resident doctor who was also super awesome had me start pushing. Not for reals pushing, but to get his head down into birth canal. My parents left the room and B stepped up to the plate. What a champ. He held one of my legs and never passed out once. I love him. So I push for about 15-20 minutes and he's coming lower. They kept saying "look at all that hair!" and I thought oh goodness he's got my hair. Around 2:00 a.m. it was showtime and the doctor on call came in. I had a round of 3 pushes and was starting on round 2 when after the first push they told me to slow down (which is very contradictory when everyone is saying "push push push harder harder" and then the next second they're all "whoa slow down.") Then I heard "one more push for his shoulders" and I'm all "what? one more push?" And sure enough he slid on out at 2:26 a.m. And I felt NOTHING. And it was heavenly. Especially because I tore which I won't go into more details about.

So there it is in a rather large nutshell. 8 pounds 6.2 ounces and 21 inches long. 6 hours of labor. I can't tell you how thankful I am he decided to come on his own instead of having to be induced. He's pretty much the most awesome baby ever and yes I'm biased but seriously, he's the coolest. I'll share the rest/more about life post pregnancy when I, you know, have time. I started writing this post on Monday and it's now Wednesday. I don't have high expectations. And my eyes are shutting now so I must go rest while Caden rests. Hope you all love his name. And if not, suck it. Just kidding.

A Light at the end of the Tunnel

2011-03-04T12:28:00.000-08:00

We went to the doctor this morning and got some FABULOUS NEWS. Here's what went down:

After checking the cervix (I'll omit any further details. You're welcome)

Dr: ok have we talked about induction?

Me: last time you said we would talk about it today

Dr: ok how does Tuesday sound?

Me: uh, are you serious?

Dr: yes. does Tuesday work for you?

Me: uh, are you serious?

Dr: ok i'll go call the hospital and see what we can set up

A couple minutes later...

Dr: so be at St. John's at 5:00 a.m. on Tuesday and we'll induce!

Me: freakin' awesome

So there you go. Peace out sausage feet. If baby doesn't come on his own before Tuesday, we pack our bags and head to the hospital bright and early on Tuesday morning! It's a lot to take in. I love having a date set so we know when to have everything ready, etc. Unless of course he decides to throw me for a loop and come on his own like tomorrow or something. So I'm counting down the days until we finally meet our little (big) guy and I can sleep on my stomach again!!

Hallelujah.

Bring on the labor. And adios fatty fattness.

I'm supposed to be...

2011-02-28T12:06:00.001-08:00

...getting things ready for my maternity leave which could potentially begin at any moment. Instead, I'm sitting here daydreaming about all the how's and what's and when's of this crazy time. I'm honestly terrified of the whole process. You would think being a child development and parenting teacher I'd be completely prepared and ready. Unfortunately, that job has had the opposite affect on me as an expectant mom. I now know ALL of the things that could go wrong, all the things that could be painful and it literally terrifies me like no other. I think it's the fear of the unknown. You can read so many books or articles and watch so many shows or movies and go to so many classes at thehospital but I'm pretty sure there's nothing to truly prepare you for what is to come and THAT is terrifying.

And let's all be honest, It's highly unlikely I'll be pushing out a lightweight over here.

Tomorrow is one week from D-Day and I don't think I can take many more days with my feet and hands as big as they are. It's gross. This baby needs to get his little butt out of my uterus so we can start our lovely relationship as mother and son. (And so I can start the long process of losing the baby weight. Buhh).

AND I want to wear cute, normal clothes again. Like this:

Week 38

2011-02-23T09:16:00.000-08:00

I feel as though I have been pregnancy for YEARS rather than months. To be more specific: I feel as though I've been HUGE for years. We're getting closer to the finish line every day and it feels so good. Last night was rough. I ended up on the couch thanks to my restless legs. Not sure when they finally settled down, but it didn't matter. I was up every hour to pee. Went to the doctor Monday. Blood pressure was still a little high but nothing they were too concerned about. I go back Friday to have it checked again. I'm also a whole ONE CENTIMETER dilated!! Whoo hoo. I realize it's not much, but it's something. And I'm reeeeally praying for a few more centimeters on Friday :)

On a slightly unrelated note: Brent has an interview today at Horace Mann for a financial analyst position. (I realize I haven't posted about this, so in short: he lost his job a couple weeks ago and has been scouring the internet for jobs. He's currently able to collect unemployment but it's not much and obviously a job would be the most ideal situation at the moment. We're trying to keep our heads up and really it's been a blessing in many areas. We get to spend more time together before baby comes which we couldn't do when he was working 12+ hours a day and 8 hours on Saturday.) So, if you think of us, please keep Brent's job hunt in your prayers. Also keep me, my patience, my sausage feet, and baby boy in your prayers :)

Thanks,

fatty hugs from mama wood.

So close...updated with a picture!

2011-02-18T07:35:00.001-08:00

We were SO CLOSE to having baby last night. As in I was IN a hospital bed, ready to go.

Let me back up...

I had my weekly dr. appt. yesterday at 3:00. Brent met me there and we waited (as usual). Finally I saw the dr. (my dr. wasn't in so I had to see a different one). He indicated my blood pressure was a little on the high side which concerned him because all through my pregnancy I have had normal blood pressure and it's never been high. That, combined with my sausage feet, are two possible symptoms of preeclampsia (solution? bed rest....please nooo.) So he had my lay down on my left side for a couple minutes and he came back to check it again. Still high. Next step: hospital for monitoring of blood pressure, the baby, and some blood work. So off we went. As calmly as possible (I actually remained very calm, considering).

We got right into a room and it was pretty surreal. As far as I was concerned, we could have just had the thing right there. I was ready, Brent was there. Let's just do it. Baby decided no. How selfish of him.

They hooked me up to a fetal monitor to watch baby's heartbeat and a blood pressure cuff to check me. First time they checked it at the hospital, it was normal (of course). But they still

wanted to do blood work, which meant we had to wait for TWO HOURS to get the results.

It was a nice little preview of what was to come, only I was fairly comfortable and had no pain. I was also bored because I knew baby wasn't coming :(

So finally at 7:00, we got blood test results back and everything was normal. Baby is fine, I'm fine. All is good. I need to try to keep my feet elevated as much as possible (easier said than done as a foods teacher).

When I woke up this morning my feet looked normal! I had ankles! Unfortunately, by the end of the day, they'll be back up to sausage caliber.

I was so thankful Brent was there and the nurses were super nice (even the awkward nursing student that came in several times.)

Oh, and the worst part? I have to save my urine EVERY TIME I PEE for 24 hours. Yes, that means even at school. So I have a big jug half full of urine from last night I had to haul here in a tote bag + a little urine "cap" that sits in the toilet I pee into that I then dump into said jug. And I don't have a private bathroom to do this in. In the words of my dear friend Sarah, "for the love".

*Here is a picture of my urine. You're welcome*

They also informed me I was having contractions every 6-10 minutes. SWEET. Unfortunately, I think they're just Braxton Hicks, but that leads to real contractions! So keep 'em coming.

There you have it: our first hospital trip. If nothing else, it made me aware of how much I still need to get ready before it's really "go time." Like:

-my go bag

-making and freezing dinners

-getting things in order at school

-final details on baby's room

-and lots more I can't think of right now.

18 days to go!! (hopefully not more)

Breakdown #1

2011-02-17T10:53:00.001-08:00

Well it was bound to happen. My first "end of pregnancy" breakdown. Here's what went down:

1. I taught all day, as I usually do during the week. On my feet for about 85% of the day.

2. After school I had a shower with some teachers, which was awesome because we got our pack n' play plus a couple other great items off our registry. It was also super great because some of the foods classes made the food for the shower and they were so excited about it. Huge blessing.

3. I was home for about 30 minutes before we had to leave to go to the hospital for our final class: breastfeeding.

4. Sat through a breastfeeding class for 3 hours. Got really, incredibly overwhelmed with information.

5. Got home, changed clothes, realized something terrible:

My feet, ankles, and hands are officially swollen. And it ain't pretty.

That's when it happened. I couldn't stop the tears. I cried every time I looked at my ogre feet, I cried thinking about everything that comes with breastfeeding, I cried thinking about only getting 6 weeks off with my little guy, I cried because I only got cereal for dinner, I cried because I'm SO UNCOMFORTABLE.

To summarize:

I'm pretty much restricted to flip flops (thank goodness for the balmy weather),

I have to sit at my desk with my feet up as much as possible,

I can no longer wear my wedding rings,

I'm hungry,

I'm overwhelmed.

And i'm still incredibly blessed.

I go to the doctor today so hopefully I can get some help/advice about my sausage feet. Seriously, you should see these things. If I feel bold, I'll take a pic but don't count on it. Considering I almost cry everytime I look at my little mini weinie toes.

Less than 3 weeks....I can do it, I can do it, I can do it......

36 Weeks

2011-02-14T12:31:00.000-08:00

With only 4 weeks left to go, to say we're anxious would be an understatement. I'm going to the doctor weekly now and at our appointment last week, she "checked" for dilation, etc and said she could feel his little head (after she left the room Brent informed me he would be feeling his head when we got home....no.) He's "way down low" which is where he should be but nothing else is really happening yet. We also had our first birth class at the hospital on Wednesday. We were bombarded with information, but it got us both even more excited to meet our little guy. Breastfeeding class is this week, should be interesting!

I'm still terribly uncomfortable. I'm up to an average of about 4 potty trips during the night, but I am able to get back to sleep, PTL. He moves a lot, mostly just his little butt from side to side and currently as I type this, has the hiccups which is a common occurrence throughout the day.

I'm having braxton hicks contractions quite a bit which is painless but weird to feel how hard my belly gets.

Let us all pray for an early delivery of a healthy (under 8 pounds) baby!

12 pound baby, coming right up.

2011-02-07T14:23:00.001-08:00

Here's the proof:

sick.

and more sick.

I'm sorry, did someone pick me up and move me in the middle of the night while I was in a Benadryl-induced coma to ALASKA??

2011-02-07T12:10:00.000-08:00

Because it LITERALLY SNOWS EVERY DAY HERE.

And in some cases, such as today, TWICE IN ONE DAY.

I'm over this white crap. Bring on the greens, flowers, sunshine, even the thunderstorms are like 100% better than snow.

I'm also very ready for spring because that means BABY TIME. And I'm ready to meet our obnoxiously cute 12 pound wonder babe (because I'm convinced there's no way, at this point, I'll be delivering a "normal" weight baby). To prove my point, I'll post a recent bump pic later this evening for your comic relief.

top 5 reasons i'm ready to have this kid

2011-02-02T13:59:00.000-08:00

#5: when sick (as i am at the moment), it'd be really great to be able to take regular medicine that works as opposed to allergy meds that literally do nothing.

#4: i want to wear regular, non-preggo clothes that actually cover my giant belly and don't make me look like a hoochie mama-to-be

#3: sleep. ahh to be able to sleep on my stomach again.

#2: my overall comfort level. i can't wait to walk and not be breathless, eat a normal meal without getting full 1/4 of the way through only to be hungry again 15 minutes later, and bend over to put socks on and tie my shoes.

#1: i reeeeeeally want to meet this little guy. i've been washing all his cute clothes for a couple months, getting his room ready, dreaming about what he'll look like. i'm so very ready to hold him!

in the mean time, i'll be enjoying snow day after snow day as i try to store up rest and sleep for d-day.

Super Bowl Prep

2011-01-31T10:52:00.000-08:00

I have to say, the super bowl is one of my favorite gatherings. Not because I care one bit about the actual game, but because I love all the snacky foods and getting together with friends to eat said snacky foods. This year we're hosting a gathering with some of our close friends and I'm greatly looking forward to sitting around with some favorite ladies in my sweats while chatting about everything NOT related to football and non-stop-snacking for several hours. Oh and the commercials are always a plus :)

I started planning the menu and here are a couple new recipes I'm going to try (along with the ever popular buffalo chicken dip, some cheese, sausage and crackers)

Double Tomato Bruschetta

Ingredients

6 roma (plum) tomatoes, chopped
1/2 cup sun-dried tomatoes, packed in oil
3 cloves minced garlic
1/4 cup olive oil
2 tablespoons balsamic vinegar
1/4 cup fresh basil, stems removed
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon ground black pepper
1 French baguette
2 cups shredded mozzarella cheese

Directions

Preheat the oven on broiler setting.
In a large bowl, combine the roma tomatoes, sun-dried tomatoes, garlic, olive oil, vinegar, basil, salt, and pepper. Allow the mixture to sit for 10 minutes.
Cut the baguette into 3/4-inch slices. On a baking sheet, arrange the baguette slices in a single layer. Broil for 1 to 2 minutes, until slightly brown.
Divide the tomato mixture evenly over the baguette slices. Top the slices with mozzarella cheese.
Broil for 5 minutes, or until the cheese is melted.

Chocolate Chip Cheese Ball

Ingredients

1 (8 ounce) package cream cheese, softened
1/2 cup butter, softened
3/4 cup confectioners' sugar
2 tablespoons brown sugar
1/4 teaspoon vanilla extract
3/4 cup miniature semisweet chocolate chips
3/4 cup finely chopped pecans

Directions

In a medium bowl, beat together cream cheese and butter until smooth. Mix in confectioners' sugar, brown sugar and vanilla. Stir in chocolate chips. Cover, and chill in the refrigerator for 2 hours.
Shape chilled cream cheese mixture into a ball. Wrap with plastic, and chill in the refrigerator for 1 hour.
Roll the cheese ball in finely chopped pecans before serving.

Hope you also enjoy the super bowl this year, and if you try a new recipe do share!

i. am. huge.

2011-01-30T17:42:00.000-08:00

that's all there is to say, really.

oh, and incredibly blessed. i had my baby shower yesterday and it was wonderful and lovely and while i felt like a giant clump of grapes in my purple dress, it was awesome to see all my friends and family. baby wood will be one sharp dressed baby. and there's a likely chance we won't even get through all his clothes before he grows into the next size.

i suppose i will only continue to get huger (i know, it's not a word) for the next 5ish weeks. i keep telling baby to please come out now. i'd really like to be done with this preggo nonsense, please.

Glider=ordered!

2011-01-28T19:13:00.001-08:00

I ordered the chocolate brown glider today at BRU. I decided to just go with the glider and no ottoman because of space issues. Baby's room is pretty small and I was afraid if we put the whole combo in there we'd have about 2 inches of floor spaces left. So, my new plan is to just add a smaller, leather, stationary ottoman for something to put feet on but that doesn't glide. And it also quite a bit cheaper! Here's an example of what I'm thinking.

I'll also be needing a little end table to set things on next to the glider. Here's one example, and here's another. I want to stick with white because all the other furniture is white and I think it will help break up all the brown with the glider, curtains and rug.

The clock is ticking and we have 4 weeks until I want to be completely DONE with baby's room and ready for him (because I'm still very much hoping he's going to make his grand entrance early...my vital organs are also hoping for this).

Baby shower tomorrow, better hit the sack and get rested!!

Seriously?? Seriously?

2011-01-27T18:28:00.000-08:00

Are you ever SO frustrated that words just evaporate. Or the opposite, you're so frustrated and worked up, too MANY words and thoughts come to mind that you don't even know where to begin? Hi, I'm there. At this point in time I'm not even sure what is appropriate to post for the world to see (even though I am well aware about 2 people read this blog), though I will share with you this much:

Brent needs a new job and he needs one STAT.

So, if you know of any companies or businesses hiring in the accounting/financial department do send that info this way, please and thank you. And if you're into praying, which I absolutely am, please pray for he and I as we work through what on EARTH God has planned in this horribly poopy situation (no Brent has not lost his job, he is still employed).

And I will be taking my frustration out on the sewing machine as I whip up more burp cloths.

More decisions

2011-01-27T07:35:00.000-08:00

It was hard enough to decide on baby furniture, paint, and a name (which we're still deciding on). Now, we're back to the glider decision. I put it on the back burner for the past couple months because I just really didn't want to deal with it. Thankfully,Brent's dad has offered to get us our glider as our gift. So with that green light, the decision making begins again. I'm so drawn to anything chocolate brown (obviously if you look at baby's room you'll know this), so naturally I'd like to go this route:

(This would also have a matching ottoman)

BUT, I feel as though we already have way too much brown going on where the chair would be (rug and curtains) and perhaps our chair would be camouflaged against all the other brown items. So here is the other option:

So there it is, the latest big decision to be made. I'd like to decide and get one ordered/bought by the end of this weekend (which also happens to be my baby shower that I'm so very much looking forward to).

Oh, and we're officially in week 34. And I'm hurtin'. It hurts to sit, stand, eat, lay, breathe. I can no longer put socks on without some serious grunting and complaining and eventually whining until Brent offers to help. I also don't even attempt to pick things up off the floor in my classroom. I make my students do it and bless their hearts they've been so good to me and eager to help. Come on baby, please come early, like in 4 weeks. That would be great.

adventures of A and B plus C

my child is starting to interact like a real human being.

Things a 9 month old "needs" a.k.a. things that help you, the mother of a 9 month old, retain SOME sanity.

The world needs God.

Thank you internet moms for actually being RIGHT

I need an assistant-slash-someone to do everything for me.

Panic-mode

The wait is over

what uppppppp??

PEOPLE. Get ahold of yourselves, PLEASE.

But even if he does not

Mornings

Some things never change

Shambles

Why do I do this to myself?

Little monkey

To: Anonymous

Winner winner chicken dinner

GIVEAWAY!!

Open for business

I will laugh in your face

I'm not a hoarder, I'm a saver

Big things are happening around here...

On this day in history...

M.I.A.

Let's get real, peeps

You want me to put WHAT on my hoots??

It was a good run...

To: my mom

Car poop

Would you hire me?

Underwhelmed and things that smell so bad it should be illegal

Crazy things are happening around here...

Ode to a Big Orange Orb

The Great Closet Switch

3 Months

IT'S OFFICIAL....

We're getting braver

A post about thankfulness

I'm not ready!

ATTENTION: BREASTFEEDING MOMS!!

What's that? You want to buy me an early b-day present?

Houdini

a post about sacrifices

Need a good laugh?

In true classy girl fashion....

poop. poop poop poop

Lightbulb moment

Ultimate Sleep Fighter

New Attitude

Copy Cat

Oops!

Ok I'm confused....

2 very important things...with no pics. sorry in advance.

Giant Poisonous Satan Snake

if this doesn't make you love life...

warning: this post is a hodgepodge of pure crap. and yes i just said hodgepodge.

my child hates sleep and i hate tomorrow

meh, i'm over it.

beer thirty

Well this sucks.

HALLELUJAH

samari ninja

and this is what makes the fussy moments tolerable (well, this and lots of prayer)

*correction*

Wait, what??

when God gives you a high maintenance baby...

this is a post where i'm positive about life

this is the post where i beg for helpful motherly advice.

Exhausted.

Things I've learned in 2 Weeks

The hardest thing I've ever done...

Nursery Tour

My tips after being a mom for a week

After birth (not the gross stuff that comes out of the body after baby)

A really long and overly wordy description of the birth story.

A Light at the end of the Tunnel

I'm supposed to be...

Week 38

So close...*updated with a picture!*

correction

So close...updated with a picture!