Why do I do this to myself?

I'm probably dumber than my idiotic cat about a lot of things. This being a big one. I want a new house. Now before you get all "I don't even know what to put in these quotes" on me (I'm mostly talking to my mother)...let me explain myself PLEASE (mom).
When we moved in here 2 years ago I adored out little home. We were torn between 2 lovely houses and I'm glad we chose this one. For the most part. No, I really am glad. It's been perfect for us in that it's needed NO major fixes which is awesomesauce because we are NOT in the market to be replacing like AC units or crap like that. But lately, I've felt less and less safe and more and more ready to be in a new place. Where we're at is like RIGHT on the fringe of some shifty areas. We're like 4 blocks east of some creeptastic apartments and in the not so far away distance is the "east side" of Springfield which is where my bro patrols the streets and we all know his beat (yes, I know police lingo) is like gross and scary (I know this because I rode with him one night and it was both terrifying and awesome at the same time. Like I want to do it again tomorrow but I might cry because it's so scary.) It would give me more peace of mind to be like a lot further west/south. Like a couple weeks ago, we had this disoriented/most likely drunk or high/possibly homeless native american with long pigtail braids roaming up and down our street wondering where he was. Umm, I'm not ok with this. PLUS on either side of us we have rental homes and while one is pretty ok and I have minimal fears about it, I try to keep my distance from the other while keeping my eye on it at the same time. Tricky business.
Now, I keep finding myself looking up homes for sale on the stupid internet which is both foolish and moronic because we CAN'T move for another year since we took that dumb first time homebuyers incentive. So I look, and my hearts starts beating fast when I see a cute house in a nice area and then I start crying (not really) when I remember we can't leave. I'm such a baby but whatever.
Well, I have to go look up more homes. I can't explain it but I do it anyway. I guess I'm sort of like a crack addict in that way. Please don't misread that sentence. I am not on crack. I just have an almost 5 month old that sucks at sleeping. (I LOVE MY SON AND I'M SO BLESSED TO HAVE HIM IN MY LIFE. PLEASE DON'T MISTAKE MY SAYING HE SUCKS AT SLEEPING AS SAYING I HATE HIM AND MY LIFE.)